My Personal Worst Films: Fantastic Four (2015)

Fantastic Four «½
PG-13, 100m. 2015

Cast & Credits: Miles Teller (Reed Richards), Michael B. Jordan (Johnny Storm), Kate Mara (Sue Storm), Jamie Bell (Ben Grimm/The Thing), Toby Kebbell (Victor Von Doom/Dr. Doom), Reg E. Cathey (Dr. Franklin Storm), Tim Blake Nelson (Dr. Allen). Screenplay by Jeremy Slater, Simon Kinberg and John Trank. Directed by Josh Trank.

I heard a lot of bad press about "Fantastic Four" during its opening weekend in August 2015 from friends on Facebook who, at first, proudly posted how they were at a screening of the film only to write a few hours later that it’s pretty bad. As I listened to an oldies rock station in the car I heard the disc jockey on the radio say if one is considering seeing a movie that weekend it was recommended people avoid 'Fantastic Four.'

The day after the film’s opening on Aug. 7 director Josh Trank posted on Twitter saying, “A year ago I had a fantastic vision of this. And it would’ve received great reviews. You’ll probably never see it. That’s reality though.” That comment was followed by a story in The Hollywood Reporter that detailed the film’s production problems as both Trank and the studio executives at 20th Century Fox pointed fingers as to who was to blame for the $120 million box office failure.

My reason for ignoring all the negative press surrounding "Fantastic Four" stems from what real estate salesman Ricky Roma, played by Al Pacino, said in "Glengarry Glen Ross" (1992).

“I subscribe to the law of contrary public opinion: If everyone thinks one thing, then I say, bet the other way.”

I don’t listen to the critics and I am one. When I write reviews I write them for me offering up my personal opinion of the film. I don’t write them for anyone else in hopes they agree with me. We are all old enough to form our own opinions. The first thought that came to my mind upon deciding to see Fantastic Four was the possibility the film will not be as bad as everyone says it is. On one hand, it could be bad but it could also be a “fun” bad movie; the kind that goes into the category of “Bad Movies You Love To Hate.”

I can name a few “fun” bad movies I have never tired watching over the years like David Lynch’s sci-fi misfire, "Dune" (1984), where the sandworms look like deformed penises with sharp teeth and gaping mouths. If you can get past the sick idea of an evil Irish toymaker wanting to kill off the country’s little kiddies with cursed masks in "Halloween III: Season of the Witch" (1982) you may find the film is full of laughs like I did.

Not EVERYONE listened to the negative commentary surrounding "Fantastic Four" because if they did I would have been the ONLY one in the theater when I saw it late afternoon on Sept. 9. Five others showed up for the same screening. When I texted a friend of mine, Bryan Witkowski, in Chicago, saying I am not the only one in the theater he texted me back saying, “They are all bored. Like you they don’t want to go home.”

The first 45 minutes of "Fantastic Four" actually had my attention to the point I not only began saying to myself that the critics as usual were wrong but also started wondering if audiences and the so-called reviewers saw the same movie I was watching. Whereas directors Christopher Nolan and Zach Snyder want to take the fun out of their adaptations of the Batman (The Dark Knight trilogy - 2005-2012) and Superman movies ("Man of Steel" – 2013) incorporating real life events into the stories and Disney’s Marvel seems intent on boring me with slow motion battle sequences where superheroes from The Avengers films battle alien robots from another world, Fantastic Four incorporates none of this.

Director Josh Trank, who doubles as the film’s co-screenwriter along with Jeremy Slater and Simon Kinberg, opted to explore the more serious side in which scientists Reed Richards (Miles Teller), Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), Sue Storm (Kate Mara), Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) and Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) struggle with their new found powers after teleporting to another world tragically alters their physical appearances.

Much like the superhero mutants from the X-Men movies who have been given powers society will not accept, Reed is blessed with being the ultimate contortionist as he expands his body in ways to avoid being shot by soldiers. Johnny becomes the flying Human Torch who can knock out drones. Sue can become invisible at random while Ben Grimm is turned into The Thing, a giant gentle talking rock formation the armed forces uses for battle.

It’s when the characters teleport to that other world known as Planet Zero that not only do things fall apart for the heroes but the film as well. The moment Reed, Johnny, Ben and Sue do battle with Victor Doom on that planet I couldn’t help but be reminded of the visual effects from the Star Trek movies back in the late 80s. Everywhere the characters step on that planet the ground oozes some green liquid that reminded me how the Genesis planet in "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock" (1984) spewed out fire and lava as the man-made world broke apart.

When the Fantastic Four” meet Dr. Doom, the metallic villain resides within some altar surrounded by tall rock formations that resemble England’s Stonehenge. In the center of the altar, a blinding blue light emanates into the dark sky. It reminded me how Captain Kirk (William Shatner), Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) and Dr. McCoy were greeted by “God” on that planet in "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier" (1989).

Then there is Toby Kebbell’s Dr. Doom himself who may be the most misunderstood or most underused villain who has no style or substance unless you consider his metallic armor and hooded cape style. As for substance it’s one thing when the screenwriters create a villain who wants to destroy the world. There has to be more as to what can be gained as a result. The reason Gene Hackman’s and Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor in the Superman movies wanted to destroy California and other countries was to sell real estate. When I hear about NASA discovering new planets that may be hospitable I would love to have my own planet to rule over. What good, however, is ruling over a world if you have nothing but mountainous rocky landscapes that oozes out green liquid wherever you step as in Dr. Doom’s case?

"Fantastic Four" is the equivalent of a rough first draft where a group of screenwriters got together and brainstormed some good ideas as to what they wanted to see done on film but it’s never fully developed into a final product. It reminds me of that opening scene when young Reed Richards in grade school tells the class how he will one day create a machine that can send people to another dimension and the teacher tells Reed the purpose of the assignment was to talk about something that can actually be done and tells him to redo it.

©3/8/23