The list of sequels I’ve seen dating back to 1973 had disenfranchised fans, Negative Nancys, "The Big Bang Theory crowd", "Nerdville" and every know-it-all wannabee movie critic reaching for the barf bags on their way out the theaters. Or thanks to social media today they held and continue to hold bitch sessions and pissing contests to gullably stupid users who’ve got nothing better to do with their pathetic lives but read and listen to other's one-sided commentaries (assuming they even call them that).
Every time I see that garbage on social media I refer back to a meme I saw years back that said “You remember me asking you for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.”
It’s one thing when the Negative Nancys offer criticism at how disappointed they were in the direction the filmmakers unexpectedly took their beloved movie franchises to. It’s another when all they want to do is bitch for the sake of bitching because like the liberal socialist democratic party we got running this country, they want to make everyone else miserable because they are so miserable themselves and misery loves company.Hence the reason why I’m paying less than zero attention to all the negative reviews - to which there seems to be many - versus the positive ones (are there any?) of “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” (2023) - Harrison Ford’s fifth and final big screen adventure as the famous bullwhip wielding archeologist with the brown fedora hat.
When James Hibberd of The Hollywood Reporter asked Harrison Ford in February this year about the backlash “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008) received from critics and fans upon its release 15 years ago, the 80-year-old actor perhaps sarcastically asked Hibberd “Where are they now?”.
“No. I mean, (the critics) were hard on it, but what are they doing now,” Ford said. “I understand. But those were their rules – not (director Steven Spielberg’s and co-writer George Lucas’) rules. They were imposing their rules on what the movie (Crystal Skull) should be. I don’t feel it’s necessary to address those issues. I think that everyone has a right to their opinion. The film was not as successful as we wanted it to be, perhaps. But it didn’t create an attitude or a behavior that carried over into this film (Dial of Destiny).”
To be fair, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” was not as good as Temple of Doom (1984), Last Crusade (1989) and “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) – (I know it is now called “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark” BUT it will always be “Raiders of the Lost Ark” to me).
In my three out of four-star 2008 review (three stars meaning good – I DON’T DO GRADE REPORTS) - of the fourth installment which was actually meant to be Ford’s final appearance in the role (at the time of its release there continued to be talk of a fifth one in the works) I called Crystal Skull both nostalgic and formulaic.
In reference to the previous films from the ‘80s I wrote “Watching all three was like getting on a new roller coaster some amusement park just built for the current summer season. Instead of being a thrilling non-stop adventure ride though, Crystal Skull feels like we’ve just returned to those old amusement parks 19 years later, but there are no new rides worth jumping on. Everything done here was done better in the previous three. Alas, this roller coaster ride we get on for two hours inside the dark theater reveals nothing new. We just about know what’s going to be around that next corner.”
The irony is every time the Paramount+ network holds an Indiana jones marathon multiple times a month on any given weekend, I literally cringe as it’s not the first three I want to have on in the background while I'm doing something else. I've gotten to the point having seen the Indiana Jones trilogy so many times the past four decades that like the Star Wars movies which are also shown every few weeks on TNT, I feel I need a ten year long break from both franchises.
The sequels I want aired instead are the ones everyone liked the least. There apparently seems to be some unwritten rule the powers-that-be over at Paramount got in place that says ONLY show the sequels everyone loved like “The Godfather “(1972) and “The Godfather Part II” and the first three Indiana Jones films. “The Godfather Part III” (1990) and Crystal Skull are off limits. Those times when the network does air these much maligned “Black Sheeps” which is a rarity is when most everyone is asleep during the early morning hours.
Those of you who can’t get enough of the Fast and the Furious, Mission: Impossible and Transformers franchises and those “despicable” “theme park” Marvel movies Oscar winning directors Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese spoke of that Disney has no plans to stop churning out, the ball rolls both ways.
I can’t tell you how many sequels and non-sequels (“Everything Everywhere All At Once” (2022), “Elvis” - 2022) I’ve seen that got rave reviews from the know-it-all critics and audiences only to have me instead of wanting to yell “FIRE!” inside a crowded theater the moment the end credits rolled, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “DA FUCK WAS THIS SHIT?!?!?!” so everyone will hear!
Look no further than last summer’s “Top Gun: Maverick” (2022). I am not the only one who didn’t like the over-hyped “requel.” It took me 36 years to see the first one. The only reason I saw the Tom Cruise blockbuster was because I had 80 bucks in AMC gift cards to use which made sitting through the sequel all the less painful.
The irony is every time the Paramount+ network holds an Indiana jones marathon multiple times a month on any given weekend, I literally cringe as it’s not the first three I want to have on in the background while I'm doing something else. I've gotten to the point having seen the Indiana Jones trilogy so many times the past four decades that like the Star Wars movies which are also shown every few weeks on TNT, I feel I need a ten year long break from both franchises.
The sequels I want aired instead are the ones everyone liked the least. There apparently seems to be some unwritten rule the powers-that-be over at Paramount got in place that says ONLY show the sequels everyone loved like “The Godfather “(1972) and “The Godfather Part II” and the first three Indiana Jones films. “The Godfather Part III” (1990) and Crystal Skull are off limits. Those times when the network does air these much maligned “Black Sheeps” which is a rarity is when most everyone is asleep during the early morning hours.
There is no such thing as the perfect movie franchise. I’ve been saying that since 1999 when fans put director George Lucas on a high pedestal thinking “Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace” would be just as good, if not better than “Star Wars” (1977). Imagine their intense hatred when they were introduced to Jar Jar Binks and a child actor (Jake Lloyd) who couldn’t act. (Yes! I liked the prequel!)“Damn you Lucas! You wrecked my childhood!” was no doubt the rallying cry of the Negative Nancys, Nerdville and The Big Bang Theory Crowd at the time and has been ever since.
Those of you who can’t get enough of the Fast and the Furious, Mission: Impossible and Transformers franchises and those “despicable” “theme park” Marvel movies Oscar winning directors Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese spoke of that Disney has no plans to stop churning out, the ball rolls both ways.
I can’t tell you how many sequels and non-sequels (“Everything Everywhere All At Once” (2022), “Elvis” - 2022) I’ve seen that got rave reviews from the know-it-all critics and audiences only to have me instead of wanting to yell “FIRE!” inside a crowded theater the moment the end credits rolled, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “DA FUCK WAS THIS SHIT?!?!?!” so everyone will hear!
Look no further than last summer’s “Top Gun: Maverick” (2022). I am not the only one who didn’t like the over-hyped “requel.” It took me 36 years to see the first one. The only reason I saw the Tom Cruise blockbuster was because I had 80 bucks in AMC gift cards to use which made sitting through the sequel all the less painful.
Just because the Negative Nancys didn’t like how Sofia Coppola’s acting or lack thereof wrecked “The Godfather Part III”, that seeing Capt. Kirk, Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy sing “Row Row Row Your Boat” in “Star Trek V: The Final Frontier” (1989) was not Star Trek, that an Irish toymaker wanted to kill off the nation’s kiddies with cursed masks using witchcraft in “Halloween III: Season of the Witch” (1982) instead of serial killer Michael Myers slaughtering more teenagers and Indiana Jones taking refuge in a fridge from a nuclear blast doesn’t mean others didn’t.Despite my loathing a few of them, I still watch such atrocities as “The Concorde: Airport ‘79”. “Cannonball Run II” (1984) “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” (1987) and “Independence Day: Resurgence” (2016) on occasion viewing them as “guilty pleasures” – bad sequels I love to hate.
It’s all about being entertained you know!
The more negative press I hear that Dial of Destiny is getting the more I’m looking forward to seeing it on June 30 when the film opens nationwide. (John Williams' Raiders theme is playing in my head as I write this and I sadly don’t own the soundtrack which can now only be bought from secondhand sellers on eBay and Amazon).
I get the feeling I’m going to get the same kind of emotional nostalgia I got when I saw Crystal Skull fifteen years ago. Those feelings will be the same kind of memorable moments I had watching the less-than-stellar “Star Wars – Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker” (2019) – in particular, when Ford’s Han Solo returned in a cameo as a ghost to have a very brief father/son chat with villain Kylo Ren (Adam Driver).
Should I wind up embracing “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” it will be because I happily followed Ricky Roma’s “law of contrary public opinion.”
“If everyone thinks one thing, then I say, bet the other way,” Roma said.
Something of which I’ve been doing since Clint Eastwood’s "Dirty Harry" Callahan took on rogue officers of the San Francisco Police Department fifty years ago in “Magnum Force”.
The more negative press I hear that Dial of Destiny is getting the more I’m looking forward to seeing it on June 30 when the film opens nationwide. (John Williams' Raiders theme is playing in my head as I write this and I sadly don’t own the soundtrack which can now only be bought from secondhand sellers on eBay and Amazon).
I get the feeling I’m going to get the same kind of emotional nostalgia I got when I saw Crystal Skull fifteen years ago. Those feelings will be the same kind of memorable moments I had watching the less-than-stellar “Star Wars – Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker” (2019) – in particular, when Ford’s Han Solo returned in a cameo as a ghost to have a very brief father/son chat with villain Kylo Ren (Adam Driver).
Should I wind up embracing “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” it will be because I happily followed Ricky Roma’s “law of contrary public opinion.”
“If everyone thinks one thing, then I say, bet the other way,” Roma said.
Something of which I’ve been doing since Clint Eastwood’s "Dirty Harry" Callahan took on rogue officers of the San Francisco Police Department fifty years ago in “Magnum Force”.
50 Years of Sequels I Warmly Embraced That No One Else Didn’t
Magnum Force (1973)
Airport 1975 (1974)
Airport ’77 (1977)
Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)
Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Rocky III (1982)
Psycho II (1983)
Return of the Jedi (1983)
Sudden Impact (1983)
Superman III (1983)
2010: The Year We Make Contact (1984)
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
The Jewel of the Nile (1985)
Rocky IV (1985)
The Color of Money (1986)
The Dead Pool (1988)
Rambo III (1988)
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Licence to Kill (1989)
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
The Godfather Part III (1990)
The Two Jakes (1990)
The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)
Batman Forever (1995)
Escape from L.A. (1996)
Batman & Robin (1997)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Barbershop 2: Back In Business (2004)
Ocean’s Twelve (2004)
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Quantum of Solace (2008)
Twilight (2008)
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Now You See Me 2 (2016)
Star Trek Beyond (2016)
Justice League (2017) Joss Whedon cut
Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017)
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Rocky IV: Rocky Vs. Drago – The Ultimate Director’s Cut (2021)
Zach Snyder’s Justice League (2021)
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)?
©6/14/23
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