This past weekend I attempted to play catch up on a few movies I missed out late last year. Among them was the apocalyptic end of the world “rapture film", "Left Behind" (2014), with Nicolas Cage and director David Fincher’s critically acclaimed murder mystery, "Gone Girl" (2014).
When it comes to what today’s movie critics like whether they’re the ones who have written reviews for decades or those who hope to be the next Pauline Kael or Roger Ebert (good luck on that one) I am like Al Pacino’s character Ricky Roma in the foul-mouthed real-estate robbery film, "Glengarry Glen Ross" (1992).
“I subscribe to the law of contrary public opinion. If everyone thinks one thing, then I say bet the other way,” Roma says.
That being said, I liked "Left Behind", Nicolas Cage’s phoned-in performance and all. I did not like "Gone Girl" and the only reason why that film got any attention was because it was based on a best seller and the devoted readers wanted to see how faithful the film makers would be to the book. I have seen better psychopathic performances by Oscar nominated actresses before, in particular Glenn Close from "Fatal Attraction" (1987) and Rosamund Pike’s role didn’t compare.
In fact, I’m proud to say I’ve liked several movies the movie critics didn’t embrace which include "Superman III" (1983). "Dune" (1984), Rob Zombie’s "The Lords of Salem" (2012) and "Halloween III: Season of the Witch" (1982) – yes! The one about the Irish toymaker who wants to wipe out America’s kiddies with cursed Halloween masks! Can you sing “Two more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween! Two more days to Halloween! Silver Shamrock!”
A couple months ago I caught the first 30 minutes of the critically bashed "Leonard Part 6" (1987) with Bill Cosby, and I laughed my ass off! If you are wondering which Batman films I still watch today? Hint: It’s NOT the Christopher Nolan films! Pardon me but the first priority when I go see movies now is to be entertained. I don’t think about what the hell I am going to say about so-so movie in a review.
I don’t need some want-to-be movie critic who uses that extremely boring unoriginal “You” phrase writing, “If you like action adventure” or “If you like horror” or “If you like comedies” who thinks he/she is Mr. Spock and through some mind meld they know what I like. It’s bad enough these writers treat me like I am still in grade school, and I got to decipher Entertainment Weekly’s C+ press release/kiss-ass/often times politically biased reviews of so-so film versus the one that gets an A.
When it comes to critic’s movie ratings, I use the four stars to no star rating system, or if I were reviewing movies for Playboy magazine like film critic Bruce Williamson did, I’d use four bunnies to no bunnies. That system is so much simpler, but I know, today’s want-to-be film critics want to be different.
My advice to those who rely on movie critics recommendations, DON’T! To quote George Harrison’s Beatles song, “Think for Yourself,” "Do what you want to do. And go where you're going to. Think for yourself. Cos I won't be there with you."
You’re only going to be disappointed, if not furious if you listen to how everyone embraced a movie like Gone Girl only to ask yourself if you and they actually watched the same film. Trust me, I’ve been there.
I’m still trying to figure out what the critics and audiences saw in "The English Patient" (1996).
To quote Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) from that "Seinfeld" episode, “Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert, and just die already! DIE!”
©2/18/15
When it comes to what today’s movie critics like whether they’re the ones who have written reviews for decades or those who hope to be the next Pauline Kael or Roger Ebert (good luck on that one) I am like Al Pacino’s character Ricky Roma in the foul-mouthed real-estate robbery film, "Glengarry Glen Ross" (1992).
“I subscribe to the law of contrary public opinion. If everyone thinks one thing, then I say bet the other way,” Roma says.
That being said, I liked "Left Behind", Nicolas Cage’s phoned-in performance and all. I did not like "Gone Girl" and the only reason why that film got any attention was because it was based on a best seller and the devoted readers wanted to see how faithful the film makers would be to the book. I have seen better psychopathic performances by Oscar nominated actresses before, in particular Glenn Close from "Fatal Attraction" (1987) and Rosamund Pike’s role didn’t compare.
In fact, I’m proud to say I’ve liked several movies the movie critics didn’t embrace which include "Superman III" (1983). "Dune" (1984), Rob Zombie’s "The Lords of Salem" (2012) and "Halloween III: Season of the Witch" (1982) – yes! The one about the Irish toymaker who wants to wipe out America’s kiddies with cursed Halloween masks! Can you sing “Two more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween! Two more days to Halloween! Silver Shamrock!”
A couple months ago I caught the first 30 minutes of the critically bashed "Leonard Part 6" (1987) with Bill Cosby, and I laughed my ass off! If you are wondering which Batman films I still watch today? Hint: It’s NOT the Christopher Nolan films! Pardon me but the first priority when I go see movies now is to be entertained. I don’t think about what the hell I am going to say about so-so movie in a review.
I don’t listen to movie critics. I don’t believe for one minute their critiques today, if you call them that, ruins a film’s chances at the box office let alone increases the money a movie brings in. The audiences are the ones who determine that!Rest assured sometime this year, I will see Johnny Depp’s "Mortdecai", George Lucas’ "Strange Magic" and the Jamie Foxx remake of "Annie", none of which were fully embraced by the know-it-all critics.
If movie critics really mattered, why is it that in today’s world of struggling city newspapers that it’s the critics who get sent packing when the publications slash budgets?
I don’t read anyone’s film reviews. When I browse through Empire magazine, Total Film, Film Comment and go to rogerebert.com, I make a mental note of the latest movies out with plans to see them later. I don’t pay attention to Rotten Tomatoes movie scores. When I think of “rotten tomatoes” I think that is the reason I get heartburn every time I eat pizza and pasta.
I don’t need some want-to-be movie critic who uses that extremely boring unoriginal “You” phrase writing, “If you like action adventure” or “If you like horror” or “If you like comedies” who thinks he/she is Mr. Spock and through some mind meld they know what I like. It’s bad enough these writers treat me like I am still in grade school, and I got to decipher Entertainment Weekly’s C+ press release/kiss-ass/often times politically biased reviews of so-so film versus the one that gets an A.
When it comes to critic’s movie ratings, I use the four stars to no star rating system, or if I were reviewing movies for Playboy magazine like film critic Bruce Williamson did, I’d use four bunnies to no bunnies. That system is so much simpler, but I know, today’s want-to-be film critics want to be different.
My advice to those who rely on movie critics recommendations, DON’T! To quote George Harrison’s Beatles song, “Think for Yourself,” "Do what you want to do. And go where you're going to. Think for yourself. Cos I won't be there with you."
You’re only going to be disappointed, if not furious if you listen to how everyone embraced a movie like Gone Girl only to ask yourself if you and they actually watched the same film. Trust me, I’ve been there.
I’m still trying to figure out what the critics and audiences saw in "The English Patient" (1996).
To quote Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) from that "Seinfeld" episode, “Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert, and just die already! DIE!”
©2/18/15
No comments:
Post a Comment