So, there I was about to enjoy a good 10–20-minute nap in my female roommate’s bed (boy, were the covers soft) as I couldn’t go to sleep in my own room, thanks to my pet duck that barfed up something awful (what was in the facial cream?).
As I snuggled in under the covers something was pressing against my back. It was a big thick black soft cover novel.
Curious, I turned to page 323 and started reading.
“At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He walks around me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind … against my sex … The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling … My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite. My…WHOA!!!!”
“This is a dirty book,” I say to myself.
No, this is not a repeat of that "Friends" episode where Joey Tribiani (Matt LeBlanc) finds Rachel’s erotic book about a “vicar”. I am not dumb-witted like Matt LeBlanc’s character. I don’t have a pet duck. I have a dog that’s even worse and I don’t live with a female roommate that’s as attractive as Rachel Greene (Jennifer Aniston).
The film’s studio, Universal, just released a teaser poster with the phrase, “Mr. Grey will see you now” featuring millionaire, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) looking out the windows of his Seattle office. As part of the studio’s clever film marketing campaign, there is even a bogus website called Grey Enterprises Holding Inc where women and I suppose men, in dire need of employment following college graduation can apply for a position as an intern. I have a feeling if this were a legitimate company Mr. Grey would only be interested in women applicants.
In the film adaptation which may reportedly arrive in both an R and NC-17 version when it arrives on disc later next year, Dakota Johnson ("The Social Network" - 2010) will play a college graduate who falls for the handsome millionaire Grey and soon realizes her new boyfriend has a hobby involving the kinds of sexual activities you might get to do if you got $400 or $500 to blow for an hour or more of sadomasochistic bondage activities with a professional dominatrix.
“I don’t want ‘em showing up, sitting down, jacking off and splitting on the story,” Horner says. “I wanna make the thing that keeps ‘em around even after they’ve come. My idea, my goal: Suck ‘em in with the story. They’ll squirt their load and sit in it…just to see how the story ends.”
I got nothing against the alternative lifestyle involving bondage and sadomasochistic activity between two people who want to play dominant and submissive so long as they don’t tell me about it.
At the very least, they will probably give me that same tongue-lashing Aniston’s Rachel Greene said to Joey in that "Friends" episode.
“I don’t care! I’m not ashamed of my book. There’s nothing wrong with a woman enjoying a little erotica. It’s just a healthy expression of female sexuality which by the way is something that you will never understand.”
And my comment to them will be exactly what Joey Tribiani said to Rachel as she stormed out of the living room in that episode.
“You got porn!”
©1/29/14
As I snuggled in under the covers something was pressing against my back. It was a big thick black soft cover novel.
Curious, I turned to page 323 and started reading.
“At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He walks around me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind … against my sex … The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling … My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite. My…WHOA!!!!”
“This is a dirty book,” I say to myself.
No, this is not a repeat of that "Friends" episode where Joey Tribiani (Matt LeBlanc) finds Rachel’s erotic book about a “vicar”. I am not dumb-witted like Matt LeBlanc’s character. I don’t have a pet duck. I have a dog that’s even worse and I don’t live with a female roommate that’s as attractive as Rachel Greene (Jennifer Aniston).
Walking though the Barnes and Noble bookstores the past year or so seeing all the erotic dominant/submissive novels gracing the store’s end caps alongside newly discovered author E.L. James bestselling sadomasochistic trilogy. Fifty Shades of Grey, I almost felt like I was in that Friends episode if I were to browse through her novels.In case you haven’t heard and honestly, I don’t see no one cannot know by now, the first book, "Fifty Shades of Grey", is being turned into a big screen film due out the day before Valentines Day next year on Feb. 13, 2015.
The film’s studio, Universal, just released a teaser poster with the phrase, “Mr. Grey will see you now” featuring millionaire, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) looking out the windows of his Seattle office. As part of the studio’s clever film marketing campaign, there is even a bogus website called Grey Enterprises Holding Inc where women and I suppose men, in dire need of employment following college graduation can apply for a position as an intern. I have a feeling if this were a legitimate company Mr. Grey would only be interested in women applicants.
In the film adaptation which may reportedly arrive in both an R and NC-17 version when it arrives on disc later next year, Dakota Johnson ("The Social Network" - 2010) will play a college graduate who falls for the handsome millionaire Grey and soon realizes her new boyfriend has a hobby involving the kinds of sexual activities you might get to do if you got $400 or $500 to blow for an hour or more of sadomasochistic bondage activities with a professional dominatrix.
Unlike the "Sex and the City" movie (2008) which attracted female fans of the show and guys who either have a fetish looking at women in high heels or enjoy wearing them, I predict "Fifty Shades of Grey" will attract everyone from those who want to know what all the kinky hype is about, women and men who engage in the same sexual activities with their significant others as the two characters do in James’ novels, to women fans of James’ books who claim how much this trilogy saved their doomed marriages and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in the bedroom behind closed doors.It’s going to be the kind of erotic film pornographic director Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds) envisioned making in "Boogie Nights" (1997).
“I don’t want ‘em showing up, sitting down, jacking off and splitting on the story,” Horner says. “I wanna make the thing that keeps ‘em around even after they’ve come. My idea, my goal: Suck ‘em in with the story. They’ll squirt their load and sit in it…just to see how the story ends.”
I got nothing against the alternative lifestyle involving bondage and sadomasochistic activity between two people who want to play dominant and submissive so long as they don’t tell me about it.
What I don’t find appealing or even kinky is the way women are embracing a book trilogy in which the female character is being reduced to that of cheap trash and forced by a man to endure the kinds of things she may not normally want to engage in, let alone think about.Be that as it may, I can already see a number of women who love these books and can’t wait for the first movie to come out submit comments on my blog writing “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.”
At the very least, they will probably give me that same tongue-lashing Aniston’s Rachel Greene said to Joey in that "Friends" episode.
“I don’t care! I’m not ashamed of my book. There’s nothing wrong with a woman enjoying a little erotica. It’s just a healthy expression of female sexuality which by the way is something that you will never understand.”
And my comment to them will be exactly what Joey Tribiani said to Rachel as she stormed out of the living room in that episode.
“You got porn!”
©1/29/14
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