Gone Too Soon: Tony Scott (1944-2012)

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

A number of thoughts came to mind upon hearing that famed Hollywood director Tony Scott, 68, had jumped to his death off the Vincent Thomas Bridge, Aug. 19, which is still being investigated as a suicide. The first of which were the lyrics I posted above from that Johnny Mandel song, “Suicide Is Painless”, which was the theme song from Robert Altman’s "M*A*S*H" (1970).

Upon reading some of the obituaries the morning of Aug. 20 the one thought I had that I didn’t even want to consider was when it comes to depression and suicide was that for all the work Scott did behind the cameras since the 1980s giving us such fast paced adrenaline rush themed movies from "Top Gun" (1986) to "Unstoppable" (2010) that on the inside, something was not right.

I hated to say it but when ABC News reported that Scott had been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, which was immediately disputed by his family, I reluctantly said to myself, well at least he went out on his own terms.

I only say that because I have known people which include a few of my relatives who although they didn’t choose the suicidal way out upon being diagnosed with a terminal illness, they did opt to spend their remaining days and weeks at home where they could die with dignity and not have to spend it inside a hospital room.

It brought to mind the question of how I would handle my own fate should I one day receive some terrible diagnosis that if I found out, for example, what I thought was just a bad tooth that was causing mood swings and headaches is really an inoperable brain tumor. How would I tell friends and loved ones considering how private a person I am?

The first thing I may do is just let my four or five closest friends know that the end is coming and how I want the final arrangements handled. I am not sure I would tell family members as the last thing I’d want is to have them insist I go get a second opinion. I certainly wouldn’t tell co-workers or management or tell everyone on my Facebook page. I would just want life to continue as though everything is status quo. I am not spending my remaining months in the hospital receiving painful treatment that only delays the inevitable.

The news now that the notes Scott left with friends and family members which make no mention of suffering from any terminal illnesses only leave more open-ended questions as to why he did it.

The 68-year-old director whose trademark was always being seen in public sporting a red ball cap was high in demand with a number of film projects in the works according to The Hollywood Reporter that included a remake of Sam Peckinpah’s western, "The Wild Bunch" (1969). Just two days before his death, Scott had reportedly met with actor Tom Cruise to discuss plans for a sequel to "Top Gun."

What kind of person who has so much going for him this late in life decides to end it?

I wonder if the answer lies in a quote from him, I found on imdb.com.

“The scariest thing in my life is the first morning of production on all my movies,” Scott once said. “It’s the fear of failing, the loss of face, and a sense of guilt that everybody puts their faith in you and not coming through.”

Tony Scott may have been a high-profile Hollywood producer and director with an impressive resume of successful box office hits but when it comes to depression, if that is what he was really suffering from, he is no more different than the millions of others across the country who currently battle the same ailment and too often give in to their demons.

I know a lot of people are going to tell me what Scott did was the selfish way out considering the number of friends and family that include his older brother Ridley, his third wife, Donna, and two children he could have relied on for help. My response to that is it’s not our place to judge nor is it any of our business to find out what he wrote in those notes.

I don’t know, to quote Johnny Mandel’s lyrics, if “suicide is painless” nor do I want to know. If there is anything proven by Tony Scott’s untimely death it is when one decides to take their own life, it does as Mandel sang “bring on many changes.”

Just look at the shock and sadness Scott’s fans, friends, family and the many actors and actresses he directed in movies the past three decades are feeling now as they ask “Why did he do it” only to come back with the same answer every time which is we’ll probably never know.

©8/29/12