Not on board with "Titanic" fever

The 100th anniversary of the Titanic disaster has come and gone, and I am not the least bit sorry I missed it much less cared.

I did not take the Titanic Memorial Cruise that 1,309 passengers did when the MS Balmoral set sail on April 8 from Southampton, England to retrace the original’s ill-fated voyage. Though I did wonder had the Balmoral hit an iceberg at exactly 11:40 p.m. on April 14, 2012, if the ocean liner had enough lifeboats for everyone aboard or did they really want to go all out and recreate the tragic mistakes of 100 years ago.

Unlike the first-class passengers aboard the Titanic who sat down for a 10-course meal that fateful night which included oysters, filet mignon, poached salmon, chicken Lyonnaise, foie gras, roasted pigeon, lamb with mint sauce, and Punch Romaine according to an article on npr.org which diners can purchase at Hong Kong’s Hullett House Hotel for $1390 (US dollars), my dinner stateside on April 14, 2012 consisted of a six-inch cold cut double meat sandwich from Subway on wheat with lettuce, tomatoes, olives, pickles and mustard, a large iced tea (unsweetened), a bag of whole grain chips and three chocolate chip cookies. All of which cost me a little over $10 bucks, which to me is rather expensive.

I have not seen ABC’s "Titanic", the four-hour mini-series that aired last weekend though I will likely see it upon its release on Blu-ray. If for no other reason just to say I saw it and add it to the other movie and made-for-tv reincarnations of the catastrophe I have seen that include "A Night to Remember" (1958), and the 53’, 79’ and 96’ versions that starred Clifton Webb, David Janssen, George C. Scott and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Let’s not forget "Raise the Titanic" (1980) which was a disaster in itself, both critical and box office wise that is.

I have not bought any of the newly released or re-released books published about the disaster I have seen sitting on tables and end caps at Barnes & Noble. Quite frankly, there are so many out there I wouldn’t even know which ones to get. I am willing to bet a lot of what’s in those books is information that’s already been regurgitated in several others written about the sinking the past ten decades. Other than the screenplay of James Cameron’s Oscar winning 1997 film, the only other books I have which I think cover everything I ever wanted to know about the ship “God himself couldn’t sink” is "Titanic: An Illustrated History", "Unsinkable" by Daniel Allen Butler, and of course, Walter Lord’s "A Night to Remember."

Unlike 101 year-old Rose Dewitt Bukater (Gloria Stewart) who journeys back to Titanic’s dark icy underwater ruins after a group of salvagers, led by Bill Paxton, find a nude drawing of her as a young woman wearing “the Heart of the Ocean” in Cameron’s blockbuster, I have not and will not make that return trip to the “ship of dreams” to see the film again, this time in the 3D and IMAX 3D formats, unless I am on a date and the woman I go out with wants to see it.

I won’t deny that 15 years ago I embraced Cameron’s disaster epic. I saw it at least five times, maybe more on the big screen back then. I am not going to tell you whether or not I shed any tears when the band played "Nearer, My God, to Thee" as passengers tried to save themselves and builder Thomas Andrews (Victor Garber) set his pocket watch for the end to come as he gazed at a painting believed to be artist Norman Wilkinson’s “The Approach to Plymouth Harbour” in the first class smoking room.

I am not like Joey Tribiani (Matt LeBlanc) in that "Friends" episode who when Chandler (Matthew Perry) mocks him about how he cries every time someone talks about Titanic, Joey chokes up and says, “Those two (Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio’s characters) only had each other.”

I won’t tell you if I cheered like a lot of movie goers did, which I am sure were all women, when the younger Rose (Kate Winslet) spat in villain and husband to be (Billy Zane) Cal Hockley’s face before running off to rescue lover Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio).

Although I don’t feel like throwing up the way star Kate Winslet does today every time she hears Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” from the film, my interest in the disaster is about as rusted out as the ship’s remains resting at the bottom of the Atlantic. As many times as I have seen Titanic, I don’t think I can sit and watch it again, not even when it comes to Blu-ray this September. Whenever I see it air on the cable networks now every few months, the only reason I have it on is just to have something to listen to while I am doing something else.

There is, however, an even deeper reason why I was not on board in commemorating the maritime disaster 100 years ago. Embarking on a “Titanic” cruise to take the same route the original ocean liner took where over 1500 people perished is about as macabre and unsettling as seeing the three-hour plus epic again on the big screen, even if it is a love story.

Maybe it’s me but I just wouldn’t feel right celebrating as James Cameron did upon winning the Best Picture Oscar in 1998 at the 70th Annual Academy Awards telling the audience to “Let’s go party until dawn” after asking for a brief moment of silence for the more than 1500 men, women and children who went down with the ship 100 years ago.

©4/18/12