My Personal Worst Films: The Spirit (2008)

The Spirit ½«
PG-13, 103m. 2008

Cast & Credits: Gabriel Macht (Denny Colt/The Spirit), Samuel L. Jackson (Octopus), Scarlett Johansson (Silken Floss), Eva Mendes (Sand Saref), Sarah Paulson (Dr. Ellen Dolan), Dan Lauria (Dolan), Stana Katic (Morgenstern), Johnny Simmons (Young Spirit), Louis Lombardi (Pathos/Logos/Ethos), Paz Vega (Plaster of Paris), Jamie King (Lorelei Rox). Written and directed by Frank Miller.

If there is a future in terms of wowing audiences with a great story, it is officially dead in "The Spirit"; a comic book movie about a superhero (I think) based on a graphic novel or a series of graphic novels by Will Eisner.

The film is nothing more than a mass marketing toy; something the studio can promote through licensing contracts to various toy makers like Art Asylum as a means to produce cool looking 6’ or 12’ inch figures based on the film’s characters. I wouldn’t be surprised if sitting on the shelves at local comic bookstores along with a figure of “The Spirit” are three or four versions of the villain played by Samuel L. Jackson as The Octopus dressed in a number of eye-catching outfits. I am equally certain there will probably be some very detailed sexy looking figures of all the femme fatales in the film played by Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson and Stana Katic; all of which will likely come equipped with fashionable high heels, leather boots and outfits and lots of dark ruby red lips.

If the film had boasted a number of special effects, it would be a prime candidate for showings at IMAX theaters, the way audiences were given the chance to see "The Day the Earth Stood Still" remake in the format. I am convinced studios no longer care about whether or not a story is any good. All that matters to the powers that be are making the visuals impressive enough to score some extra bucks showing it on IMAX.

If you remember anything about "The Spirit", it won’t be the storyline. The plot is as thin as the paper the screenplay was written on. I am still not sure how hero Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht), a police officer killed in the line of duty, came back to life fighting crime throughout Central City as “The Spirit.” He is like Halle Berry’s Catwoman leaping from high-rise to high-rise in the dead of night, walking on electrical wires like they are sidewalks.

Likewise, I am even more confused as to how The Octopus was also given superhero, or I should say supernatural powers. Something fans of Eisner’s comic books will be eager to set me straight, provided there are any out there who really think this movie lives up to the graphic novels they have enjoyed reading. Like Alan Moore’s Watchmen, I have never read any of Eisner’s Spirit novels and thanks to this film adaptation, I don’t think I ever will.

The Spirit was written and directed by Frank Miller, who with the help of director Robert Rodriguez and screenwriter Quentin Tarantino, helmed "Sin City" (2005), a series of popular graphic novels Miller also wrote. I didn’t care for that picture’s dark subject matter, which was garbage but at least it was garbage with style. It boasted a great comeback performance by Mickey Rourke as a hulking muscle-bound convict who was more unrecognizable here than he is in his current critically acclaimed role in "The Wrestler" (2008).

Sin City’s trashy subject matter though, at least, had substance whereas The Spirit’s story is completely devoid of any. Apparently, the only thing Miller was concerned about here was capturing how the characters dress, their colors, mannerisms, and names. The Spirit is always wearing a black suit and Lone Ranger mask and hat, for example, along with the red tie and white tennis shoes.

Then there are the names of some of the femme fatales like Sand Saref (Eva Mendes) whose role as a former girlfriend of The Spirit requires her to drop her towel after stepping out of the shower in front of him and xerox copies of her ass to a city official she bribed. As for Scarlett Johansson, the only thing worth remembering other than playing the Octopus’ partner in crime is her name Silken Floss, which I have a feeling has nothing to do with the dental profession.

The only actor to come out unscathed here is Jackson, whose overacting borderlines on humorous sadism. When The Octopus isn’t busy being astounded watching one of his bald dim-witted minions in the form of a tiny head on top of a big foot jumping around on a table, he dresses up as a decorated Nazi officer telling The Spirit about his search for a special vase containing the blood of Heracles that can turn him into a God. At the same time, he threatens to chop The Spirit into tiny pieces sending his remains to various zip codes throughout the country. As if that isn’t enough, The Octopus takes great delight in seeing cute white kittens dissolve in some sort of liquid to the point the only remains are their eyeballs.

“We really need to have more people over for this kind of stuff,” he tells Silken Floss.

I suspect Jackson’s reason for the overacting is he already knows just how ridiculous this movie is so he rises above the unbelievable material with a standout one note performance of his own. His role is the only thing keeping me from awarding this movie the NO STARS rating it really deserves.

Then again, it’s only in America where people can start over again and be forgiven for their mistakes, especially in Hollywood. Perhaps a few years from now, should some studio decide to resurrect "The Spirit" franchise, they might just take Silken Floss’ last words near the end, when she notices a body part of The Octopus crawling in the snow as sound advice. My gutter mind made me think the body part was that of the male anatomy below the waist. It certainly looked like it from far away. It turns out it was a finger. Silken Floss picks up the moving part and puts it in her bra and says, “Start from scratch.”

A part of me hopes studio execs, if not die-hard fans of "The Spirit" graphic novels, don’t take those words literally and start working on another production.

©12/29/08

Online classes made easy by too many chances

Ever since I started online classes, I have wondered whether students really learn anything.

The last online class I took was an elective as a means to finish my two-year degree. I admit I couldn’t have cared less if I learned anything. I just wanted the unnecessary course over and done with.

I thought how much of a joke these online classes really were. The assignments called for me to read each chapter of the textbook, and then take the quizzes, which were followed by a mid-term and a final exam.

That was fine. What I found to be a joke was the fact I could take these exams as many times as I wanted to the point, I’d get every answer correct which in turn, would allow me to make an easy A in the course. The system would tell me what the answer is on the quiz/exam questions was if I got them wrong, or it would point where in the textbook I could find the answer. Moreover, if the questions were true/false and I guessed true as the wrong answer, it didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out the correct answer next time would be false!

I am aware college instructors aren’t idiots. The online system, after all, allows instructors to look to at each student’s attempts and take note how many times he/she or it took those quizzes/exams to make 100 percent.

Still, were it not for online classes, it would be hard for me to attend classes in person given my work schedule. No wonder colleges offer students the chance to take languages, algebra, and science courses online as opposed to driving to campus and attend classes in person.

If my degree required that I needed a language and the four-year university offered online classes in Spanish, I’d register for the online courses in a heartbeat.

I don’t want to sit in class for an hour or more two to three times a week and converse with other students to learn the language.

The same goes for online science classes. If an online biology class offers a computer printout of a frog’s insides, I’d embrace an online diagram or picture of one. The only reason I would even be enrolled in the course to begin with is because my degree plan requires me to have one science credit.

Granted, there is a downside to online classes, which is you don’t get any interaction with other students or the instructor.

The only online classes and I stress the word, “only” classes I do take seriously are those courses in my major or for a certification.

Students can fool the instructor all they want mastering the exams and come out smelling like a rose but sooner or later, karma is going to come back for you.

When the day comes and you get that job where you must apply the material you learned, or not, the truth will finally be known. Did you skid by or learn the material?

To quote President Abraham Lincoln, “You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.”

©7/1/08

Considering the Independent Route

I consider myself a Reagan Democrat turned Republican, but now I am considering calling myself a Reagan Democrat turned Republican, now Independent.

This is not just because I am not happy with who we conservatives must choose as our next president. Senator John McCain is as much a liberal as Democratic Senator Barack Obama when it comes to such issues as global warming and gay marriage, to name a couple.

It is mostly because the Republican Party no longer has anything they firmly stand on. If someone came up and asked you to name a Republican in Congress right now, would you be able to name more than one? I can name two and both are no longer in Congress: Newt Gingrich and Bob Dole.

The fact I can name more than five members of the Democratic Party leaves me with a brief touch of stomach flu. This is all thanks to the liberal “drive-by” news media who see Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry and Ted Kennedy as their “darlings.”

The Republican Party has no “Contract With America,” like the one Newt Gingrich and other representatives came up with back in 1994 that detailed several actions they’d take if elected.

Hence, the reason why Republicans lost congressional seats May 13, 2008, in Illinois, Louisiana, and Mississippi to Democrats. These were seats the Republican Party held in years past.

Can the Republican Party make a comeback?

Almost immediately following those disastrous election results, conservative talk show host Sean Hannity outlined 10 ways on his website, in which the Republicans can be victorious this November if they stand by these 10 beliefs. I won’t go into all 10, but here are the most important.

Number 1: “To be the Candidate of National Security.”

They should not only stay the course in Iraq, stand behind the troops and support the Patriot Act, but keep Guantanamo Bay open to hold terror suspects.

Let’s face it. Whether you are for or against the Iraq War, we are there to win. Anyone who thinks Senator Obama can come through on his promise to start bringing troops home within a year if he takes office should look back in history and find out just how long it took President Richard Nixon, after he took office in 1968 to end the Vietnam War. It didn’t happen until after he resigned from office in 1974 due to the Watergate scandal.

Even if Obama pledges to start pulling out troops, it won’t happen in a year and like Vietnam which became a disaster when we pulled out, the same would occur in Iraq.

Number 2: “The Candidate who pledges to oppose Appeasement.”

To put it simply, a Republican will oppose all efforts to negotiate with dictators from countries like Iran.

I am amazed at Obama’s notion that he doesn’t see any dictatorship countries as a major threat.

"Iran, Cuba, Venezuela? These countries are tiny compared to the Soviet Union. They do not pose any serious threat to us," he told people while on a campaign stop.

How do you negotiate with someone who says the Holocaust did not happen? Or how do you negotiate with Muslims who believe killing themselves and others will get them 72 virgins in the next life?

Number 3: “The Candidate Pledges to support Tax CUTS, and fiscal responsibility.”

Anyone who thinks Senator Obama is going to lower taxes, if elected, lives in a dream world. I love it when people tell me how they are already being taxed as it is so the idea of a Democrat being president does not make much difference. I also love how they compare me, a single person with no kids, to themselves who are married with children and say, I am not paying out as much as they are.

You know what? My blood is the same color as everyone else’s. Just because I am living the single life does not mean I do not have expenses. I might be able to put some money away, but not all of it. And every year that I get a raise just means more money gets taken out of my paychecks for taxes.

Number 4: The Candidate Pledges to be a supporter of “Energy Independence.”

Listen up people! This country has more than enough oil to last us a century. It is time to stop using and relying on other countries for the product and stop worrying about the safety of endangered species here in the states, all because some want to save polar bears and penguins.

That means yes, drilling in Anwar and building new refineries and nuclear facilities. I have been living for 20 years behind an electrical tower that buzzes every time it rains. I have not been diagnosed with a brain tumor yet.

If you think paying between $4 and $6 dollars for gas now is a joke, will you still be laughing when it one day hits $12 a gallon? It will not be because we have a gas shortage. It will be because the demand for oil is higher.

Number 5: “The Candidate pledges to secure our borders completely within 12 months.”

When it comes to border security, the country is no more secure now than it was before 9/11. If there is any funding that needs to be spent, it’s for hiring more border patrol agents and getting a fence built.

Number 6: “Healthcare. The Candidate will look for Free-Market solutions to the problems facing the Healthcare industry and will vigorously oppose any efforts to “nationalize healthcare.”

Is our nation’s healthcare system broken? Yes. But I would not trade it for the kind of healthcare other countries have, like in Canada. It amazes me at how people think they do not have it great here in terms of healthcare. Perhaps they should go live in Canada, get diagnosed with a heart ailment that requires immediate surgery and see if they can wait six months for an operation that needs to be done within days or hours.

Or better still, look at how the government runs the post office or handles medical care for wounded military veterans and then ask themselves, do we want nationalized healthcare?

Number 8: Social Security and Medicare: "The Candidate will “save” Social Security and Medicare from bankruptcy.”

All that money taken out of our weekly or bi-weekly paychecks that’s used for Social Security and Medicare needs to go back to us. Let us decide how we want to spend it.

That is never going to happen. By the time we turn 65, both these accounts will be bankrupt, but we are still going to get our Social Security checks. The government will just keep taking out money to put into an account that continues to borrow from everything else.

Which all goes back to my belief that I seriously doubt the Republican party can stage a comeback between now and Election Day, but anything can happen.

The haunting words of Mitt Romney still echo inside my head.

“Washington is broken.”

Going the Independent way sounds better and better every minute.

©6/4/08

My Personal Worst Films: The Strangers (2008)

The Strangers «½
R, 90m. 2008

Cast & Credits: Scott Speedman (James Hoyt), Liv Tyler (Kristen McKay), Gemma Ward (Dollface), Kip Weeks (The Man in the Mask), Laura Margolis (Pin-Up Girl), Glenn Howerton (Mike), Alex Fisher (Mormon Boy #1), Peter Clayton-Luce (Mormon Boy #2). Written and directed by Bryan Bertino.

Last December, I heard a tragic news story about an elderly woman who, on a Sunday night, was at home with her husband. Upon checking to see who rang the doorbell, the woman was shot and killed by an unknown assailant the moment she opened the door. Other than being a random case of homicide, there was no other evidence that whoever killed the woman had been planning a home robbery.

It was just another random senseless killing or home invasion which is what "The Strangers" is all about. The film opens with a brief narration from an unseen person who talks about how millions of such deadly home invasions like the one seen in this film take place throughout America and how this particular case is based on a true story.

If the script written by director Brian Bertino made me want to care about the young couple played by Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler who are terrorized by some young masked psycho thrill killers, I would have exhibited some anger towards the ones causing their predicament and hold out some hope for these doomed lovers.

Trouble is we don’t know too much about them except that both Speedman and Tyler are boyfriend and girlfriend. At a dinner party, Speedman proposes to Tyler to marry her and for reasons we don't quite learn, turns him down. He takes her to his parents beautiful but isolated suburban home where he already had a romantic evening planned.

As the two are about ready to settle down for the night, the doorbell rings. A young girl asks them “Is Tyler there?” Speedman tells her she has the wrong house and she leaves. Then he goes off to the store to get some cigarettes leaving Tyler alone for a few minutes while she stays warm in front of the fireplace.

Then the doorbell rings again and “the Stranger” asks the same question when Tyler asks who it is. What follows is routine. Tyler gets scared when the person refuses to leave, continuing to bang more loudly on the front door. She grabs a knife to protect herself and then predictably walks towards some closed curtains. If this same type of filmmaking exercise were not repeated in most every other predictable so-called suspense film (i.e. young woman left alone inside empty house being terrorized by unseen assailants), I might have jumped the minute Tyler opens up the curtains to see a masked stranger staring at back her.

Trouble is I already knew who was out there lurking about thanks to the film’s trailer. Speedman eventually arrives though at first refuses to believe Tyler that someone is watching them.

When Speedman's pal (Glenn Howerton) stops by the house to pick him up, I'd have said to myself telling him to look behind him as he is walking throughout the house trying to figure out what’s happening. I already knew, however, he was going to be the next victim one way or the other.

Which brings me to the question of why is all this happening to the young couple? That question is asked in the film’s only creepiest sequence uttered in a scene from the trailer.

When Tyler asks the masked strangers why are they terrorizing them, a masked young teenager says, “Because you were home.”

I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the kind of answer such cold-blooded killers tell detectives during their investigations as to finding out what their motive was. It was probably the answer that assailant told detectives as to why he or she shot that elderly woman who all she was doing was answering the door to see who it was.

The Strangers is not a thriller. It’s not even a horror movie despite the one poster I have seen showing the three masked killers. It’s just one example among those millions of deadly home invasions the narrator said in the beginning that occur for no real reason other than the fact it happened all because the residents were home.

©6/3/08

Appreciation: Charlton Heston (1923-2008)

“Moses!”

That was the first character who came to mind upon hearing the news that screen legend Charlton Heston had passed away April 5 at age 83 as a result of Alzheimer’s disease, with his wife of 64 years, Lydia Clark Heston, at his bedside.

It was always that biblical hero who defied Ramses and parted the Red Sea from “The Ten Commandments” (1956) who came to mind whenever I thought of the Oscar winning actor for “Ben-Hur” (1959). It is because ever since I was in grade school, watching “The Ten Commandments” every Easter on ABC was like a tradition.

Of course, Moses was not the only hero Heston portrayed on the big screen. Whereas Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise and Kevin Costner have often failed to convince audiences with their fake accents when portraying foreign characters, Heston was able to convince this Doubting Thomas, he could pass himself off as a Mexican narcotics official in Orson Welles film noir classic, “Touch of Evil” (1958). The crime drama was like a modern-day David versus Goliath; the little do-gooder against the likes of Welles 330-pound corrupt behemoth Sherriff Hank Quinlan. I don’t think I need to tell you in the end who won.

Fans of the sci-fi genre most likely recall Heston’s role as the lone astronaut Taylor in “Planet of the Apes” (1968) reciting that famous line of his “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

I admit I was never much of a fan of the “Apes” series despite the fact I loathed the idea of Hollywood doing a remake of the classic decades later in 2001. Thankfully, Heston, in a tribute to his presidency of the National Rifleman’s Association, made a clever cameo appearance as a dying ape who just happens to be only one of two primates on the planet to own a rifle.

Looking back on his film career, Heston followed the same routine when it came to choosing the kinds of roles John Wayne often did. He was always the leader; the good guy who you could always count on knowing that things would be ok in the end. Decades before Will Smith conquered the box office trying to find a cure to a deadly virus in last year’s end of the world remake, “I Am Legend” (2007), it was Heston who was “The Omega Man” (1971); humanity’s last hope of author Richard Matheson’s sci-fi novel.

We knew, for example, that stewardess Karen Black and the passengers of a damaged, pilotless 747 would be safe the moment his character stepped in the captain’s chair in “Airport 1975” (1974). We knew he’d find out what that secret ingredient was in “Soylent Green” (1973).

Most of the time his character always lived, rarely dying on screen which he did at his behest in “Earthquake” (1974) and the WWII war movie “Midway” (1976).

When he wasn’t busy playing the big screen hero, Heston played the hero off screen fighting for such worthy causes as Civil Rights, something he later admitted wishing he had done more back in the 1960s. His hectic film schedule kept him from doing so.

Like Ronald Reagan, Heston started out as a Democrat opposing McCarthyism, racial segregation, and the Vietnam War. He admitted in his 1995 autobiography, “In the Arena”, that his political views began moving to the right when Lyndon Johnson campaigned to become president in 1964.

What I admired most about him was the way he never faltered from his political beliefs. When it came to guns, Heston summed it up best with a comment that is still relevant today considering the recent mass shootings.

“There are no good guns,” he said. “There are no bad guns. A gun in the hands of a bad man is a bad thing. Any gun in the hands of a good man is no threat to anyone, except bad people.”

My favorite controversial line of his is not the infamous “You can take my rifle ... when you pry it from my cold dead hands!” however. It is what he said about President Clinton.

"America didn't trust you with their health-care system, America didn't trust you with gays in the military, America doesn't trust you with our 21-year-old daughters. And we sure, Lord, don't trust you with our guns."

Heston, a former World War II veteran, always knew how to counterattack someone whenever a fellow actor uttered an unkind remark, and keep his composure and humor.

When George Clooney made a joke about Heston’s illness, the actor commented "It's funny how class can skip a generation, isn't it?"

When Heston made that fateful announcement public in August 2002 that he was suffering from Alzheimer’s, he did just what you expect a “hero” to do; confront the debilitating disease head-on.

"What cannot be cured must be endured," he later said in a December 2002 interview.

When it comes to movie heroes, we’ll always have characters like Indiana Jones and the yearly assortment of superheroes from the Marvel and DC Comics franchises who we know full well will prevail in the end.

Today’s actors only play heroes a few times. What made Charlton Heston unique was he always played the role on both the big screen and off and he did it well.

That alone is worthy of an Oscar.

©4/20/08

Bushwhacked! Oliver Stone targets “Dubya” in latest film

Don’t accept anything Hollywood makes as the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

That’s my advice to anyone who sees a film or one-sided documentary supposedly truthfully based on a historical subject or real-life person.

That was my advice to anyone after witnessing the negative reactions audience members exhibited about President Bush after seeing Michael Moore’s one-sided Bush bashing documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” back in 2004, which I call nothing more than a tragic comedy.

That is my advice now upon learning Oscar winning director Oliver Stone’s plans to make an upcoming film about our current president titled “W.” (2008), which starts shooting late this month for a possible release this fall; just in time for the 2008 presidential election.

I could not believe how stupid and gullible people could be, in particular, the ones in high school and college who I heard saying how they will never vote Republican again as a result of what they learned from Moore’s so-called documentary.

It will probably be those same “skulls full of mush” who probably embrace the idea of Hollywood going on yet another Bush bashing tirade with Stone leading the way.

Several questions raced through my mind after hearing about Stone’s project. The first is, “Who would see it?” We have had “Dubya” for eight years in the White House. Do we need a three-hour plus movie recounting all the untruths that went on during his presidency with what might as well be called “The Gospel According to Oliver Stone?”

I should scratch that question off. I already know who will see the film. The very same people who I have heard for eight years say they hate Bush but cannot so much as to list a single reason as to why. I have no doubt it is those same people who cannot recount a single thing Democratic presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama achieved as senator. All they can say is “I want Hillary for president because she is a woman and it’s time for a woman president” and “I want Obama in the White House because I want change.”

At least I can offer some solid reasons why I haven’t been too happy with President Bush the past eight years. I do not believe, for example, his stimulus checks will fix the economy, which is not as bad off as the liberal press wants you to believe. I do not agree with his proposals to help homeowners in the housing market. It’s the homeowner’s problem that they can’t pay their mortgages, not the government’s.

While I do agree that something needed to be done about former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, I don’t believe Gulf War II had anything to do with 9/11 nor do I believe the Bush administration had an exit strategy on how to get us out of Iraq. I still to an extent believe this war is all about oil, much like the first Gulf War.

That is, however, more reasons than what I have heard from Bush-bashers.

Stone claims his movie, which stars Josh Brolin in the title role as “Dubya” will be a fair and balanced portrait. Given his track record of previous controversies that have won critical acclaim (“JFK” (1991), “Nixon” (1995), “World Trade Center” - 2006), however, I believe that about as much as I believe Hillary Clinton’s claim she heard gunshots being aimed at her while on a trip in Bosnia back in 2000 or Barack Obama say that he not once heard his pastor, Jeremiah Wright, utter racist comments and damning America over the past 20 years.

In the description of Stone’s film found in an article in Entertainment Weekly, ''W.” is the improbable story of a man who went to the White House despite getting fewer votes than his opponent; who became commander-in-chief despite having avoided military combat himself; and who became the least popular president ever elected to a second term. “W.” will shock and surprise you and leave you questioning everything you believe to be true.''

It has already been proven more than once that Bush did in fact win in 2000.

As the saying goes, “Controversy sells.” That is the only reason most movies today that embellish historical subjects win critical acclaim, clean up at the box office and in some cases receive and win Oscar nominations.

If Hollywood cared to tell the story truthfully, no one would see it and it would get very few endorsements from critics. A few films have in fact, flopped at the box office because they attempted to get the story right such as “Tora, Tora, Tora” (1970) about the attack on Pearl Harbor and most recently the remake of “The Alamo” (2004), which had no sense of Texas patriotism that John Wayne’s 1960 epic had.

If people wanted to get the story on how it really happened, they would read the book.

They’d much rather believe the first officer of the Titanic, William Murdoch, responsible for the disaster accepted a bribe and shot and killed a couple of passengers trying to get into a lifeboat before turning the gun on himself as the ship sank in James Cameron’s Oscar winning 1997 movie, as opposed to what was written in the history books. He went down with the ship. The only reason Hollywood chose to tell a lie in this case was because it made for better drama no matter how that person’s family might feel as to how he was being portrayed on the big screen.

It will be the same reaction when “W.” is released next year. They will accept the viewpoints of a radical movie director over the countless articles and books that have already been written about President George W. Bush and his presidency.

Movies are made to entertain and that includes those based on historical subjects. I hope that Stone’s “W.” will get people inspired to read a book on the subject to get the real story as opposed to accepting what they are seeing on the big screen as the real thing.

©4/15/08

No solution to stop mass shootings from happening

I had two questions after learning that another mass shooting on a college campus, this time at Northern Illinois University (NIU) in Dekalb, Ill, had taken place Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day. When will this kind of violence stop, and how can we prevent another one from happening?

I didn’t like the answers I kept coming up with, much less the comment from Dekalb Police Chief Donald Grady.

“As much as we do, it’s unlikely that anyone would ever have the ability to stop an incident like this from happening,” Grady said.

Police were on the scene minutes after 27-year-old Steven Kazmierczak, a former student at NIU, and a graduate student at the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign, opened fire on a lecture hall full of geology students, shooting 21, killing 5 before turning the gun on himself.

Not surprisingly, the news media made references to the fact that this was the latest in a series of campus shootings that had occurred throughout the country. To me, however, this was no different than any other incident involving someone walking in with a cache of weapons prepared to go postal.

It was no different from the shooting that took place Feb. 7 in Kirkwood, Missouri when 52-year-old Charles Thornton stormed a city council meeting and killing two police officers and three city officials before being shot dead by police. Thornton was a contractor who had personal issues with city officials.

It would have been no different had Kurt William Havelock carried out his horrifying plan Super Bowl Sunday, Feb. 3. Havelock, angry that he had been denied a liquor license, vowed to “shed the blood of the innocent” in a manifesto he had sent to media outlets.

“No one destroys my dream,” he wrote.

Havelock was within sight of the University of Phoenix stadium, armed with a rifle and 200 rounds of ammunition, before backing out at the last minute, contacting family members and turning himself in to authorities.

The only differences were where the acts took place.

The bottom line is such mass shootings can happen anywhere. It’s no longer relegated to the workplace. They have happened at churches, shopping malls, schools and now colleges.

It almost happened here at Eastfield and Richland Community Colleges in the Dallas area over the winter sessions last year. On Dec. 21, 2007, both campuses went into lockdown by order of the local police departments. Dallas police were notified that a 29-year-old former student of both colleges made a threat that he was going to return to campus and kill everyone, according to a news story on http://www.eastfieldnews.com’s website. The threat did not, however, specify which college.

What bothers me most now when such incidents happen is how commonplace mass shootings are becoming. No one seems to question whether this could have been prevented or who is to blame. It seems the huge firestorm of controversy that erupted following Eric Harris’ and Dylan Klebold’s rampage at Columbine High School in April 1999 has now dwindled to a soft personal rumble.

Gone it seems are the debates on whether mental health and antidepressant medications are to blame. According to Kazmierczak’s girlfriend, Jessica Baty, he had stopped taking his anti-depressant medication three weeks before the NIU shootings “because it made him feel like a zombie.”

Baty told CNN there was "no indication he was planning something."

"He wasn't erratic. He wasn't delusional,” she said.” He was Steve; he was normal."

A different picture has since emerged in the days following the NIU shootings. Law enforcement authorities have said he may have started planning months ago, as early as last August, for the Valentine’s Day attack.

No one speaks up on whether half the violence seen in movies today which Hollywood attempts to pass off as wholesome popcorn movie entertainment is the reason. Or whether it is the news media who every time some mentally disturbed person goes on a killing spree, gives the sociopath his much needed 15 minutes of fame telling viewers his sob story about how society dealt him/her a bad hand.

Who is to say the news coverage isn’t enough to set off some disturbed person to commit a similar crime?

We don’t hear about how easy it is to purchase firearms because someone failed to verify all answers perspective gun owners put on his/her application. Despite his history of mental illness, Kazmierczak was not barred by the state of Illinois from purchasing the weapons he used in the attacks.

Society seems to have given up trying to figure out why all this violence is happening and just accept it as an everyday way of life.

I wish I could believe that another incident like the one at NIU won’t happen again, but I know it will.

What I do know is I am tired of hearing or reading about another mass shooting taking place somewhere in Anytown, USA.

I don’t have an answer on how to stop such violence from happening.

I don’t think anyone does.

©3/4/08

Ledger, not the first nor the last Hollywood icon to succumb to "James Dean Syndrome"

Whenever I hear of Hollywood icons and musicians’ untimely ends at such young ages, as a result of their excessive alcohol and drug use, be it illegal or prescribed substances, the one word I come up with that best describes such people is “Loser” with a capital L.

There ought to be a medical name for celebrities with such ailments, like “James Dean Syndrome.” The latest star to fall into the category is Oscar-nominated actor Heath Ledger. His death Jan. 22 at the age of 28 was the result of an accidental overdose of painkillers, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety medication and other prescription drugs according to the New York City medical examiner.

To quote the phrase: “Live fast, love hard, die young and leave a good-looking corpse.”

I didn’t always feel this way.

A few days after actor John Belushi was found dead, as the result of a drug overdose in March, 1982, I found the comment one of my classmates made about the 33-year-old comedian to be rather cold. I will not publish his exact words but to put his comment in my own words, he said how much of an idiot Belushi was for giving into drugs, thus ending what was a promising film career.

I can understand where he was coming from. I did not, for example, shed tears for former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith when she passed away last February, the result of an overdose on prescription medications. She brought her downfall on herself. If Smith was deeply concerned about her newborn baby, she would have done everything in her power to stay healthy. If anything, I felt worse for her one-year-old daughter, Dannielynn Hope, who would now grow up without a mother.

I have never understood how people with such talent, who have everything they could want in life, could be so insecure with themselves that they need illegal or prescribed chemical substances to battle their inner demons.

The list of troubled celebrities seems to be growing daily starting with Britney Spears but not limited to Lindsey Lohan, Mischa Barton, singer Amy Winehouse, Gary Collins, Rebecca De Mornay, Tom Sizemore, Kiefer Sutherland and most recently Sean Young.

The sad fact is that behind all the blockbuster movies, television shows and rock albums is a small group of individuals who have either a hard time coming to grips with their sudden stardom, think they are invulnerable to everything, or are unhappy.

This seems to be the case for Heath Ledger, if you believe the comments in People magazine who said the star had been depressed and was not himself in the weeks prior to his death last month. Recently he had been spotted partying until the early morning hours.

“He looked like he was going through a hard time,” said one source on a movie set. “It really looked like all the traveling, filming and the separation from Michelle (Williams) and his child was really taking a toll.”

As in the case of the untimely death of actor River Phoenix in 1993, I did not want to believe the possibility that Ledger’s end was the result of drug use, even if it was all prescribed medications.

I did not care for the gay subject matter in “Brokeback Mountain” (2005) but I admired Ledger’s courage for taking the role, which earned him his first Oscar nomination, and tackling an issue that even today, despite growing acceptance, is still stigmatized by Hollywood.

Ledger had been working heavily during the past year shooting the Bob Dylan biopic, “I’m Not There.” He reteamed with director Terry Gilliam on “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” whose production is now suspended and was in the process of directing his first feature film next year.

Upon the completion of his role as the villainous Joker in the highly anticipated Batman sequel, “The Dark Knight”, due out this July, Ledger described the role first made famous by Jack Nicholson back in 1989’s “Batman”, as “a psychopathic, mass-murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy.”

As a result of working non-stop, the actor admitted to The New York Times back in November that he had had trouble sleeping, saying that even two Ambien pills was not enough.

"I couldn't stop thinking,” he said. “My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going."

The day after Ledger’s passing, one of my coworkers said you would think today’s rising stars would learn the harsh lessons that ended the lives of actors Belushi, Phoenix, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin and most recently actor Brad Renfro and musician Ike Turner.

That lesson will continue to fall on a lot of deaf ears in the entertainment industry, despite warnings that comes from Ledger’s father Kim through the actor’s publicist on the day the toxicology reports were released.

"While no medications were taken in excess, we learned today the combination of doctor-prescribed drugs proved lethal for our boy. Heath's accidental death serves as a caution to the hidden dangers of combining prescription medication, even at low dosage."

Heath Ledger is not the first, nor will he be the last celebrity to succumb to “James Dean Syndrome.” The Associated Press already has Britney Spears’ obituary ready to go to press should she be next.

Ledger’s sudden departure, like so many others before him, is just another grisly tabloid case in which a promising young career is cut short. All that grieving fans are left with are small bodies of their work dwelling on what might have been.

©2/4/08

Registration can be horror for first time student

Most anyone who is a new student attending a new school probably has a horror story to tell about how something went wrong on their first day of class. In my case, the horror story has to do with my trying to register for classes.

At the same time, the complaint I have heard about newspapers, yes, college newspapers as well, is that there is not enough good news to report.

Well, I’m offering both: A horror story about my experience at a new college campus and how members at that community college made the experience less painful than it could have been.

In December, I registered for a continuing education class, which was due to begin Jan. 14 for certification in medical coding. For the first time in many years of taking college courses, I was excited about pursuing this field and could not wait to begin, if for no other reason, because I wanted a new career path.

The trouble would have really started if I hadn’t shown up on campus a few days before the 14th for a meeting with the campus newspaper staff. I needed verification for an online class orientation which would take place Monday morning at 9 a.m.

To my surprise, the schedule time on my receipt was wrong and the orientation happened on Jan. 12. When it comes to online classes, information about the class is either posted on eCampus under your account on either the day of, or a few days before the course begins. As of the 12th, I was not able to access that information. eCampus was telling me I was not enrolled in any courses.

Moreover, the system said I was not enrolled in any courses, period, when I pulled up my schedule.

I paid no attention to this because I already had a paid credit card receipt that told me otherwise and the paperwork to prove it.

I learned at orientation from the instructor that my name was “blocked” on his roster and I would have to contact the continuing education department or admissions for further assistance.

By this point, I said the same thing I most always say in situations like this. “It’s always something.” Nothing ever goes right and when it does, something else happens that ruins my day.

There was not a whole lot I could do until Monday the 14th. So, I emailed the admissions coordinator for Health Professions on Saturday with the knowledge I was not going to hear anything via email or phone until the first day of class.

I decided to call the technical helpdesk for eCampus Monday afternoon. I have to say I was impressed with their courtesy despite the fact I had to explain the situation to the helpdesk operator several times after being put on hold while they investigated the problem. At least the operator apologized for having to put me on hold every time.

The helpdesk told me they would have to forward my issue to another department and would contact me via email in the next 24 hours or sooner. I received an email from them two hours later saying I had been dropped from all classes when I never initiated a drop for any.

About the same time, I received the email, I got a call from one of the administrators in charge of the medical coding program who forwarded me to admissions. The time, however, was after 7 p.m. when I finally spoke to someone who said nothing more could be done until Tuesday.

I was not looking forward to waiting in line at admissions for half-a-day Tuesday, especially since it was my day off from work. I took a chance and spoke to someone in admissions Tuesday morning who verified I was dropped from all my classes. My credit card was in fact credited $240, though I had yet to receive the billing statement. Apparently when I dropped some other courses, the system dropped me from everything.

I was expecting the admissions person to tell me the only thing I could do was go to admissions and register again for the class or talk to the admissions people in the continuing education department to see if I could be enrolled back into the course. Either way, it meant I would have to come to campus which is almost 40 minutes from where I live.

Instead, the admissions person brought up my student account, asked for my credit card number and enrolled me back into the course. This was the moment I was impressed with how they managed my situation.

The real kicker, however, came later when the health professions coordinator called me that afternoon saying although she forwarded my problem to another administrator, he took the time herself to figure out what the problem was.

I have never, ever, had anyone go the extra mile for me in my life when it came to customer service. I have always believed the idea of an employee going above and beyond the call of duty to help a lowly paying customer to be the stuff of legends.

I was wrong. Turns out there are people out there, the folks at this community college in particular, who are concerned with their students encounter problems with registration. Stands to reason, despite the fact community colleges are two-year campuses, it is still a business and we, as students are the paying customers.

If we are not happy, other than voicing a complaint to the powers-that-be, there are plenty of other community colleges, four-year universities and technical vocational schools who would love to have our business.

As a new student here, I may only be taking online classes, but thanks to certain people here on campus, they made an irritating situation into something that was resolved within a few days.

©1/29/08

The 9/11 epic TV drama Mickey Mouse won't let you see

The timeline for any made-for-tv/cable drama to arrive on DVD is usually months after its debut on television. Not so in the case of ABC’s controversial five-hour mini-series, “The Path to 9/11”, that aired on the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11th terrorist attacks in 2006 and was nominated for several Emmys winning one.

Cyrus Nowrasteh, who wrote the screenplay based on “The 9/11 Commission Report”, and books, “The Cell”, by John Miller, and “The Relentless Pursuit”, by Samuel Katz, was quoted in a Sept. 5, 2007 article from the Los Angeles Times, saying he was told by a top ABC executive that the reason for the DVD’s absence, is out of fear it might hurt Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton’s chances for president.

If true, I have a feeling that may not be the “only” reason.

The mini-series ignited a political firestorm weeks before its debuted-on Sept. 10, 2006, in what could be described as a successful right-wing hatchet job to former President Clinton and his administration. Nowrasteh’s script laid much of the blame on the Clinton Administration (1992-2000) who had eight years to capture or kill al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden and failed versus the eight months President Bush’s administration had prior to 9/11.

Among the supposed inaccuracies former President Clinton had with the film, which he outlined in a letter from his attorneys that he sent to ABC on Sept. 7, 2006 according to an online article on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Path_to_9/11, was the assertion that while in office, he was too busy worrying about the Monica Lewinsky scandal to fully concentrate on going after bin Laden.

Another scene in question according to the same article was the film’s notion that his Secretary of State Madeline Albright tipped off Pakistani officials that a military strike to wipe out the al-Qaeda leader was coming, that in turn gave bin Laden and his people a chance to escape.

"The content of this drama is factually and incontrovertibly inaccurate and ABC has the duty to fully correct all errors or pull the drama entirely," the four-page letter said.

Actor Harvey Keitel, who played FBI agent John O’Neill, on whom the screenplay was largely based, also had issues with the film in a Sept. 10, 2006 transcript interview with CNN.

“When I received the script it said ABC history project, I took it to be exactly what they presented to me – history and that facts were correct,” Keitel said. “It turned out that not all the facts were correct, and ABC set about trying to heal that problem – in some instances it was too late because we had begun.”

The trouble in reading the transcript is not once did Keitel cite any examples as to what scenes he had issues with. When asked by CNN if he felt anything should be changed, the actor’s answer seemed cryptic.

“This is a tough issue because we do not want to throw the baby out with the bath water. There are also quality issues raised in the film that our citizens should see and should be discussing amongst themselves. If we are putting together certain facts and umm an untruth evolves from that then that is wrong. You can compile certain things if the truth remains the truth. You can’t put things together, compress them and then distort the reality.”

In the Sept. 5, 2007 article from the Los Angeles Times, Nowrasteh who describes himself in the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Path_to_9/11 article as “probably more of a libertarian than a strict conservative” was told by Disney the film’s expected DVD release date was set for Jan., then April, then summer, and then ironically moved to Sept. 11, 2007 before being pulled from the release slate entirely.

"Whatever anyone may think about me or this movie, this is a bad precedent, a dangerous precedent, to allow a movie to be buried," Nowrasteh said in the LA Times article. "Because the next time they'll go after another movie. The Bush administration may go after a movie. The next administration may go after a movie. No matter who it is, they may go after a movie. This town needs to stand up."

Even director Oliver Stone (“World Trade Center”-2006) is unhappy with the decision.

"This is a shame; it's censorship in the most blatant way," Stone was quoted saying in the same article. "I'm not vouching for its accuracy -- it's a dramatization -- but it's an important work and needs to be seen."

Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh had more damning comments about Clinton’s criticisms of the film saying the news coverage “has been treated more as The Path to the Clinton Legacy” in a transcript found on http://journalsmith.blogspot.com/2006/09/rush-limbaugh-comments-on-path-to-911.html.

“...if there were no other cherry picked scenes that brought on the wrath of Clinton and the rage of the left, you still would have seen actual footage of the real Bill Clinton as a leader ill-equipped to lead,” Limbaugh said on the transcript. “What we saw in this movie was the real Bill Clinton: awkward, hesitating, unsure, faking resolve, and that, folks, is the real story behind the story. The image, the years of a crafted image has been laid bare for all who watched The Path to 9/11 to see.”

The film dramatizes O’Neill’s years in law enforcement beginning with the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center and his attempts to stop another terrorist attack from happening only to be met with roadblocks from his own agency, the Central Intelligence Agency, and President Clinton’s administration when it came to getting the chance to either kill or capture the al-Qaeda leader. His story alone could stand as a case of tragic irony. Upon his leaving the FBI Aug. 23, 2001, O’Neill took over as head of security for the World Trade Center and perished along with close to 3,000 others in the collapse of the twin towers, which included those lost aboard the four hijacked planes, the Pentagon and the 19 hijackers.

Controversy or not, “The Path to 9/11” effectively portrays how this nation’s government and law enforcement agencies failed the American people.

“Despite all the red flags, no one is taking terrorism seriously,” Keitel’s O’Neill says upon his retirement in the film. “Political correctness rules the day. I have given my life to the bureau – everything else came second. For me and my country to be in danger, I have spilled blood to help try and keep it safe. We’re not safe yet and no one seems to care.”

The thought that Disney will treat this film in the same manner the way they have refused to release their other controversial animated title, “Song of the South” (1946), because of that film’s evoking stereotypes of African Americans, on DVD churns my stomach.

“The Path to 9/11” has not been seen on network television or cable since 2006. I got more respect for the studio executives at Universal Pictures who had the balls to weather the pointless firestorm of protests from religious fanatics when they stood behind director Martin Scorsese for making “The Last Temptation of Christ” (1988) than I do for the folks at Touchstone’s Mickey Mouse corporation Disney.

“The Path to 9/11”, like so many other historical subjects Hollywood has taken creative liberties with since the days of the silent film era, is only a movie and a dramatization, not a factual one.

Controversy sells as demonstrated by the 25 million viewers who tuned to watch the mini-series on both nights.

For now, the only place you will ever see this film, until the Clintons and high-level ranking members of the socialist Democratic Party get it pulled from the Internet completely, is on YouTube where if you are lucky, some patriotic user will have the mini-series available on their channel for upload.

©1/20/08

Darth Stumpo's Ten Most Unnecessary News Stories of 2007

Every December as the year ends, several popular weekly publications and newspapers give a rundown of “The Top 10…” things that happened over the past 12 months. The lists used to always be the 10 best television shows, movies, books, music, and plays. Now it seems publications come up with not just a few but perhaps more than a dozen “Top 10” lists that are enough to take up either an entire magazine issue or a whole section of a newspaper to the point the lists would have to be split into a series.

I have had quite a hard time over the years to be able to come up with what I thought were the ten best movies. Half the stuff I have seen Hollywood churn out the past few years, I have been lucky to see even one four-star film.

I am proud to say though that in 2007, I had no trouble coughing up what I thought were the year’s most unnecessary top stories the “Drive-by” liberally, biased news media gave excessive coverage to. Face the facts people. Ninety percent of the stuff being reported as so-called news is nothing more than pure entertainment tabloid fluff while the remaining ten percent, if that much, is focused on more important issues.

Darth Stumpo's Ten Most Unnecessary News Stories of 2007

1. The California Wildfires: The “Drive-by” media had such high hopes the California wildfires started by arsonists last October that cost millions in property losses would be another Hurricane Katrina-like disaster. They hoped several lives would be lost and once again, local city, government, emergency agencies and oh yes, President Bush would all be to blame. I had to laugh when ABC news anchor Charles Gibson compared one of the neighborhoods threatened by the wildfires resembled “Wisteria Lane,” the fabled street of ABC’s popular Sunday night soap opera, “Desperate Housewives”. I guess the only way today’s news anchors can get viewers to tune in to what they think is the day’s most important top story is if they reference a fictional television show dimwitted viewers can relate to. Seems more people today can name the street, not to mention the four fictional attractive-looking homemakers who live on Wisteria Lane than they are able to name of even one Los Angeles suburb affected by the wildfires. Sad.

2. The Continuing Misadventures of O.J. Simpson: What would a year be without any news about The Juice? This year it was O.J. and his tell-all book, “If I Did It”, which details how he might have murdered his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman. Take out the “If” and the title becomes “I Did It.” There was O.J. and a couple of his merry band of outlaws asking for his sports memorabilia back at gunpoint in Las Vegas. And there was O.J. pleading not guilty in a Las Vegas court of law. Stay tuned to the upcoming sequel due out in 2008 when the case goes to trial.

3. “The Sopranos” series finale: When HBO’s long running made-for-cable mob series aired its final episode June 10, it was not just the 11.90 million faithful viewers or perhaps I should say “suckers” who wanted to know what mob boss Tony Soprano saw in that diner before the scene faded to black. Did he get whacked? Would the adventures of America’s second most popular dysfunctional crime family (the first being The Corleone’s from The Godfather trilogy) continue on the big screen? The press felt a story needed to be told here. The climax, however, was no more different than some of the much ballyhooed and often, disappointing series finales that left viewers either hanging or going “huh” like when Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine got sentenced to a year in jail for being selfish pricks on “Seinfeld” (1990-1998). Or when viewers learned that six seasons of the medical drama, “St. Elsewhere” (1982-1988), took place in the mind of an autistic child or that the comedy series “Newhart” (1982-1990) was nothing more than a humorous eight season long nightmare dreamt up by Bob Newhart’s psychiatrist from his other long running comedy series from the 70s, “The Bob Newhart Show” (1972-1978). Talk about making a big deal about nothing!

4. The Fall of and Immediate Return of Don Imus: I have never listened to Don Imus, but I am well familiar with how a few of the things he said on the air over the years got him into trouble. Was what he said on his morning radio show last February calling members of the Rutgers University women’s basketball team “nappy-headed hos” racist? You must be a complete idiot, and even racist yourself if your answer is no. Should he have been penalized for it? Yes. But was it enough to finally put an end to the radio shock jock’s on-air rants? No. Imus returned to the airwaves December 3 on WABC. So much for the Rev. Al Sharpton’s attempts to silence free speech.

5. The Virginia Tech Shootings: The first couple days were about the 32 victims, many of whose promising young lives were only just beginning before being senselessly snuffed out by an angry young loner (would the word “loser” be inappropriate?) that cold Spring Monday morning last April. The story shifted from being about the victims to being all about this Grim Reaper the minute the media and the world learned the identity of the vengeful coward who turned the gun on himself as law enforcement agents closed in. I, for one, am glad I cannot recall his name, much less pronounce it if I did, nor will I waste words mentioning it here in this column. Lest I also be found guilty of the same thing the media did, which was giving the monster the 15 minutes of fame he so craved. As a result of unexpectedly being put in the spotlight, Virginia Tech students spoke what everyone else in America would have liked to tell the press days after the shootings in the form of a sign posted on campus grounds. “VT Stay Strong. Media Stay Away.”

6. All Anna All the Time: The Death of Anna Nicole Smith: Feb. 8, 2007, must have been a slow news day for CNN for the top story was the sudden news that the 39-year-old former Playboy playmate and reality show star was found dead in her home of what we’d all eventually learn was a drug overdose. Her short life and tragic downfall was all we should have learned but an obituary that should have taken news outlets a couple days to write about expanded into weeks of overblown coverage with ongoing stories of autopsy results, paternity suits, battles over who would get custody of Smith’s 1-year-old daughter, burial services and embarrassing interviews showing the Marilyn Monroe look-a-like drugged out and in some cases barely able to form as much as a complete sentence. Her life was nothing more than a sad commentary on the idea of “Hey, everyone look at me!” and the press, the entertainment media, in particular ran with it.

7. Oprahmania: We have seen celebrities’ stump for presidential candidates before. Today’s liberal media are praying that Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama now has a chance to being America’s first African American elected president thanks to the full backing of daytime talk show diva, Oprah Winfrey. It is not Hillary Clinton conservatives have to worry about now. My advice to those hoping a Republican will get in the White House in 2008, “Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.” Can her support help get Obama into becoming the latest resident on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? One thing is certain. More people like Oprah than they do singer Barbra Streisand, who is lending all her support to Hillary Clinton.

8. NBC News Anchor Brian Williams hosting “Saturday Night Live”: No, I did not see the anchor’s comedic debut, but I saw clips that aired on NBC Nightly News the next day. I admit some of the clips were humorous like dropping coins on morning show hosts Al Roker and Matt Lauer from the top floor during their telecasts. But is this what broadcast journalism has stooped to with highly paid good looking talking heads not only anchoring the news but guest hosting a long running comedy show? Granted, former longtime celebrity anchors CBS’ Dan Rather, NBC’s Tom Brokaw and “the James Bond of Broadcast Journalism” ABC’s the late Peter Jennings may have come on as guests at the behest of late-night talk show hosts but not once were they ever asked to host a comedy sketch series or those educational “More You Know” commercials on NBC.

9. Lisa Nowak and The NASA Love Triangle: Viewers would never hear about a mother of three kids making a 900-mile trek from Houston, Texas to Orlando, Florida wearing adult diapers and armed with a BB gun, a knife, a mallet, and rubber tubing to confront a romantic rival for stealing her man on the nightly news. That is unless the mother of three happens to be a NASA astronaut who has flown on a shuttle mission.

10. “Mom! It’s not right.” Do not cry for Paris Hilton: I am willing to bet several people convicted of driving with a suspended license would have welcomed the 45-day jail sentence socialite Paris Hilton received last May. Not so for this Chihuahua loving party girl who could barely do a week. Five days into her jail sentence last June in what became misinformation between the judge and law enforcement authorities, the millionaire heiress was allowed to do her remaining time at home, only to be dragged back to the courthouse balling inside a black and white police car as helicopters flew overhead and angry little Chihuahuas barked away on the ground. To quote her own words, “That’s hot.

I am willing to bet several of you reading this could not get enough of this kind of trivial coverage the media churned out over the past year. It reminds me of the scene in “Broadcast News” (1987) where Holly Hunter’s Jane Craig warns the staff during a speech about how today’s news networks are getting away from covering the more important stories and giving the public more fluff. Her audience applauded when she showed them a segment of the Japanese Domino Championships.

My response is exactly the same as hers and the bad news is if you haven’t noticed it already, you are going to get lot more of these kinds of stories just like it.

Here’s to what will likely be another unnecessary tabloid filled New Year.

©1/1/08