Battlefield Earth NO STARS
PG-13, 117m. 2000
Cast & Credits: John Travolta (Terl), Barry Pepper (Jonnie Goodboy Tyler), Forest Whitaker (Ker), Kim Coates (Carlo), Richard Tyson (Robert The Fox), Sabine Karsenti (Chrissie), Michael Byrne (Parson Staffer), Sean Hewitt (Heywood), Michael Perron (Rock), Shaun Austin-Olsen (Planetship), Kelly Preston (Chirk). Screenplay by Corey Mandell and J.D. Shapiro based on the book by L. Ron Hubbard. Directed by Roger Christian.
I’d be lying if I said "Battlefield Earth" had some redeeming entertainment value. The film has none, hence the NO STAR rating I have gladly bestowed on it. Thinking of something positive to say about the picture is like thinking of something nice to say about someone or something I hate. I come up with nothing.
The movie is based on the 1980 bestseller by L. Ron Hubbard. I haven’t read it, but I did glance through it one day at the bookstore marveling at how long it was (over 1,000 pages). I held out hope seeing since this is John Travolta’s pet project (besides starring in, he is also co-producer here along with Jonathan D. Krane and Elie Samaha) who is also involved with scientology (which Hubbard supposedly started). I had no doubt that Hubbard’s book, much like author Frank Herbert’s Dune, had the word “epic” written all over it.
The only thing epic about "Battlefield Earth" is how dreadfully awful it is. It is one of the ugliest, unbelievable motion pictures I have seen in a long time. The film cost its studio, Warner Brothers, $65 to $70 million according to some entertainment articles and watching it made me ask, where did all the money go?
Almost everything seen on screen is obscured by darkness. It’s as though the filmmakers and studio execs at Warner Brothers were so horrified by the final product, they felt it was better if the sets and ships were illuminated at night by a lot of explosions and people running for their lives.
All the sets and costumes are reminiscent of earlier memorable science fiction, action-adventure pictures and sci-fi television shows. Destroyed cities like Washington D.C. are almost identical to what the Capitol building looked like at the end of "Deep Impact" (1998) when a meteor hit the ocean except the buildings are surrounded by sprawling vegetation.
The alien fighter planes look like an early concept for what became the armored police helicopter Roy Scheider flew in the John Badham movie, "Blue Thunder" (1983). The ships run on four engines that exhibit a blue, purplish light except when they are in-flight, they don’t seem to move at all especially at night. When in battle, the fighters line up the way the video game characters in Space Invaders do waiting to be picked off by Air Force jets that apparently can still fly despite lying dormant in a hangar for 2,000 plus years.
The remains of the human race, most of whom either hide out in caves or are prisoners of an alien race known as the Psychlos, are led in revolt by Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper). His name sounds like the ones a few of the “Greaser” characters were apparently christened with when they were born like “Ponyboy Curtis”, “Sodapop” and “Two-Bit Matthews” from director Francis Ford Coppola’s "The Outsiders" (1983). The outfits they wear are a cross between the cavemen of the prehistoric times and the ones seen in Kevin Costner’s Waterworld (1995).
The film’s sex appeal comes in the form of the long protruding tongue Travolta’s wife (Kelly Preston in a brief cameo as a female Psychlo) sticks out. The scene reminded me of those fantasies the male characters have in "Ally McBeal" (1997) when they see a hot looking blond step off the elevator and where Jabba the Hutt licked Princess Leia’s face in "Return of the Jedi" (1983).
I wondered how this alien race made it to Earth. It didn’t take long for me to learn the answer. The Psychlos came here via transporter (similar to the one seen in the Star Trek movies and television shows) from their home planet called, believe it or not, “Psychlo.” The most we ever see of the planet, however, is a city I assume that looks like a giant nuclear power plant with factories in the background.
On Earth, the glass dome the Psychlos live in is a cross between the one the humans resided in "Logan’s Run" (1976) and Disney’s Epcot Center except the entire place was once a zoo, now converted to imprison humans.
The Psychlos themselves might as well be called Klingons from the Star Trek franchise. They are much taller than humans, unattractive and have long hair. All that’s missing are the large protruding lumps that stick out from their foreheads down to their spines. Instead of large facial lumps, the Psychlos sport nose pinchers held by two leather ropes that go around their heads and look as though lines of snot were spewing from their noses.
The aliens act like disgruntled employees who work for a major corporation. They either can’t wait to quit or be transferred to another division. The story centers around Terl (Travolta), Psychlo’s chief of security, who oversees Earth’s mining operation.
When he is not laughing maniacally, sitting in a bar downing drinks, belittling his assistant, Ker (a barely recognizable Forest Whitaker), and threatening to report fellow co-workers to “the home office”, Terl is checking on Jonnie’s and the other slave’s efforts to mine gold all of which comes from Fort Knox in the form of rectangular blocks (Terl thinks they actually dug it up).
"Battlefield Earth" dredged up dreadful memories of some of the celluloid trash Travolta churned out back in the 1980s that include "Staying Alive", "Two of a Kind", the Look Who’s Talking sequels, "Perfect" and "Grease 2" (oh wait, he wasn’t in that movie, but it was still a lousy one nonetheless). Those films at least had one thing going for them. I could laugh at how bad they were.
"Battlefield Earth" is not even a fun bad movie. It is a wasted atrocity and an abomination in science fiction movie making.
©5/16/2000
PG-13, 117m. 2000
Cast & Credits: John Travolta (Terl), Barry Pepper (Jonnie Goodboy Tyler), Forest Whitaker (Ker), Kim Coates (Carlo), Richard Tyson (Robert The Fox), Sabine Karsenti (Chrissie), Michael Byrne (Parson Staffer), Sean Hewitt (Heywood), Michael Perron (Rock), Shaun Austin-Olsen (Planetship), Kelly Preston (Chirk). Screenplay by Corey Mandell and J.D. Shapiro based on the book by L. Ron Hubbard. Directed by Roger Christian.
The movie is based on the 1980 bestseller by L. Ron Hubbard. I haven’t read it, but I did glance through it one day at the bookstore marveling at how long it was (over 1,000 pages). I held out hope seeing since this is John Travolta’s pet project (besides starring in, he is also co-producer here along with Jonathan D. Krane and Elie Samaha) who is also involved with scientology (which Hubbard supposedly started). I had no doubt that Hubbard’s book, much like author Frank Herbert’s Dune, had the word “epic” written all over it.
The only thing epic about "Battlefield Earth" is how dreadfully awful it is. It is one of the ugliest, unbelievable motion pictures I have seen in a long time. The film cost its studio, Warner Brothers, $65 to $70 million according to some entertainment articles and watching it made me ask, where did all the money go?
Almost everything seen on screen is obscured by darkness. It’s as though the filmmakers and studio execs at Warner Brothers were so horrified by the final product, they felt it was better if the sets and ships were illuminated at night by a lot of explosions and people running for their lives.
All the sets and costumes are reminiscent of earlier memorable science fiction, action-adventure pictures and sci-fi television shows. Destroyed cities like Washington D.C. are almost identical to what the Capitol building looked like at the end of "Deep Impact" (1998) when a meteor hit the ocean except the buildings are surrounded by sprawling vegetation.
The alien fighter planes look like an early concept for what became the armored police helicopter Roy Scheider flew in the John Badham movie, "Blue Thunder" (1983). The ships run on four engines that exhibit a blue, purplish light except when they are in-flight, they don’t seem to move at all especially at night. When in battle, the fighters line up the way the video game characters in Space Invaders do waiting to be picked off by Air Force jets that apparently can still fly despite lying dormant in a hangar for 2,000 plus years.
The remains of the human race, most of whom either hide out in caves or are prisoners of an alien race known as the Psychlos, are led in revolt by Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper). His name sounds like the ones a few of the “Greaser” characters were apparently christened with when they were born like “Ponyboy Curtis”, “Sodapop” and “Two-Bit Matthews” from director Francis Ford Coppola’s "The Outsiders" (1983). The outfits they wear are a cross between the cavemen of the prehistoric times and the ones seen in Kevin Costner’s Waterworld (1995).
The film’s sex appeal comes in the form of the long protruding tongue Travolta’s wife (Kelly Preston in a brief cameo as a female Psychlo) sticks out. The scene reminded me of those fantasies the male characters have in "Ally McBeal" (1997) when they see a hot looking blond step off the elevator and where Jabba the Hutt licked Princess Leia’s face in "Return of the Jedi" (1983).
I wondered how this alien race made it to Earth. It didn’t take long for me to learn the answer. The Psychlos came here via transporter (similar to the one seen in the Star Trek movies and television shows) from their home planet called, believe it or not, “Psychlo.” The most we ever see of the planet, however, is a city I assume that looks like a giant nuclear power plant with factories in the background.
On Earth, the glass dome the Psychlos live in is a cross between the one the humans resided in "Logan’s Run" (1976) and Disney’s Epcot Center except the entire place was once a zoo, now converted to imprison humans.
The Psychlos themselves might as well be called Klingons from the Star Trek franchise. They are much taller than humans, unattractive and have long hair. All that’s missing are the large protruding lumps that stick out from their foreheads down to their spines. Instead of large facial lumps, the Psychlos sport nose pinchers held by two leather ropes that go around their heads and look as though lines of snot were spewing from their noses.
The aliens act like disgruntled employees who work for a major corporation. They either can’t wait to quit or be transferred to another division. The story centers around Terl (Travolta), Psychlo’s chief of security, who oversees Earth’s mining operation.
When he is not laughing maniacally, sitting in a bar downing drinks, belittling his assistant, Ker (a barely recognizable Forest Whitaker), and threatening to report fellow co-workers to “the home office”, Terl is checking on Jonnie’s and the other slave’s efforts to mine gold all of which comes from Fort Knox in the form of rectangular blocks (Terl thinks they actually dug it up).
"Battlefield Earth" dredged up dreadful memories of some of the celluloid trash Travolta churned out back in the 1980s that include "Staying Alive", "Two of a Kind", the Look Who’s Talking sequels, "Perfect" and "Grease 2" (oh wait, he wasn’t in that movie, but it was still a lousy one nonetheless). Those films at least had one thing going for them. I could laugh at how bad they were.
"Battlefield Earth" is not even a fun bad movie. It is a wasted atrocity and an abomination in science fiction movie making.
©5/16/2000
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