2016 sucked but it had nothing to do with all the talent lost

I admit the day after actress Carrie Fisher died on December 27 last month I posted that meme of the Kardashian clan (i.e. Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kris – too many to list here) that featured the words below that the year 2016 still has four days left for the Grim Reaper to take one if not all of the reality TV show family.

True, the posting was nothing more than wishful thinking but it did prove just how I, and so many others, felt witnessing the losses of so much talent last year. How cruel of a world it is we live in that the Hollywood actors, actresses and music icons we grew up on are all dying and nothing bad has happened to the Kardashians and Miley Cyrus.

For me, the year 2016 was bad but not because of the talent lost. There was a host of reasons why the year sucked so much that when 2017 started at midnight on Jan. 1, the first rule of 2017 in a Facebook meme I saw was “We don’t talk about 2016.”

Last year sucked for me in the form of four stages; the same number of stages one is given when they are handed a life-threatening cancer diagnosis.

Stage one for me came with all the negative commentary I had to put up with from Negative Nancys on Facebook who’d use social media to bitch about every major subject (i.e. the presidential election, the Oscars being “too white”, the Black Lives Matter Movement among them) that I and a majority of others didn’t care to read. Those of us who wanted no part of their bitching had already heard enough of it on a daily basis on the news and talk radio.

By the time a loser upset by how the “Boys In Blue” in his pathetic sick mind target African-Americans went on a killing spree in downtown Dallas in early July cold-bloodedly murdering four Dallas police and a DART officer during a Black Lives Matter demonstration, I could not help but wonder how much more tragedy could 2016 offer given there was still barely six months left!

Stages two and three happened on a personal level as I found myself engaging in a continuing battle with diabetes, battling bill collectors, unable to balance a 40 hour work week and college classes, and bed bugs (yes – just like those talking M&Ms on those commercials, the night time pests do exist and it don’t matter how immaculate you keep your house clean!)

A few close friends I knew either battled life-threatening diagnosis or lost the battles all together. A friend I knew in high school lost her only son at age 14 and she and her husband have been coping with the loss ever since as expressed by her grief memes she posts on Facebook. Again, I can’t imagine the pain a parent goes through when it comes to burying and outliving their child.

Another one I knew in high school was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had surgery and chemo done. The problem is while he is done with chemo and surgery and has been doing well since; the surgeons were not able to get the whole tumor. Another friend from grade school lost his wife to lymphoma. And another childhood friend of mine whose parents I had known since the early 1970s lost his father in November to a stroke.

So you will understand why 2016 sucked so much! It felt like I was being pummeled.

While it is said when one is diagnosed with stage four cancer means that you are about to meet your maker soon, for me stage four actually meant hope. In November the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for 108 years. I can’t tell you how much I, and so many die-hard Cub fans needed this win given how bad the year had been going!

For a year that started out with a whimper the good news was 2016 went out with a bang. I lost over 40 pounds, though not considered “healthy” weight loss I still saw it as weight loss regardless. I loved getting comments from family members and social media during Thanksgiving who said because they hadn’t seen me in a while I was almost unrecognizable having lost so much weight. I love the fact all the extra large clothes I have now are too baggy and as soon as I got some money to burn I will have to get a whole new wardrobe.

However, if none of the other negative things occurred, I would not have been bothered too much by all the notable figures, Hollywood and music icons who died during the year.

Truth of the matter is death is a part of life. I predict the number of notables who pass away in 2017 could be more than the ones we lost in 2016.

Like it or not, every day gone is one more day closer to a date with the Grim Reaper for all of us.

If there is a lesson to be learned from losing so many icons in 2016 it is that we should all cherish the time we have with the ones who are still here and appreciate the notable figures who are still around as none of us knows how long we have.

Trouble is I believe NO one will follow such advice. They’ll instead post comments on social media how the minute they hear another idol has died they’ll post how 2017 sucks as much as 2016 did. They’ll post youtube videos recalling the songs, TV shows or movies that person did.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I again see social media users in 2017 post another meme to God asking the Almighty if they offer up the Kardashians and Miley Cyrus to the Heavens, if they can have so-so movie star or music legend back.

©1/18/17

Gone Too Soon: George Michael (1963-2016)

The minute I made a negative comment to a friend’s post on Facebook a few days after social media learned of British popstar George Michael’s death on Christmas Day last month at age 53, I dreaded getting into a pissing contest with her despite the fact I believed I was in the right.

What got me worked up was her post, which said, “Another wasted talent”, that was followed by a news article she added to her post from yahoo.com citing that Michael battled a heroin addiction and was rushed to the hospital multiple times before his passing December 25. The cause of death, despite reports saying it was heart failure, has not been made official and would take several weeks.

I saw her statement as the equivalent of dancing on someone’s grave saying, “Well maybe if George Michael had not gotten into drugs, he’d still be here.” It made me wonder if when finding out someone she knew died prematurely from diabetes, cancer or heart disease and learns that person’s medical condition could have been avoided if only he/she avoided the junk food, watched their diet and exercised, if she says to herself, “Another wasted life.”

I immediately responded to her post citing the popstar’s battles with his sexuality, depression, drug addiction and skirmishes with the law were nothing new listing previous musicians and Hollywood actors whose personal demons got the best of them.

Fans and the music industry were well familiar with the sordid stories. That wasn’t what mourners chose to remember when social media learned of Michael’s death as they laid wreaths, flowers and memorial cards outside his two residences in north London and Goring, England.

Social media users did what they had done so many times since January 2016 after learning of the deaths of music icons David Bowie, The Eagles' Glenn Frey, Prince and Leonard Cohen. They posted Michael’s lyrics to a number of his hit songs and YouTube videos on Facebook and recalled his work as an LGBT rights campaigner and his involvement with HIV/AIDS charities.

I admit George Michael’s passing didn’t hit me immediately the way I was shocked to hear of the losses of Bowie, Frey, Prince and Cohen. I saw the singer/songwriter and record producer as a one-hit wonder whose hit song I was most familiar with was 1984’s "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" Michael did along with singing partner, Andrew Ridgeley under their British rock band, Wham!

I was even less impressed with Michael’s 1987 hit, "I Want Your Sex." I equated that song as just another attempt to drum up needless controversy the way Madonna released her erotic coffee table book, "Sex", in October 1992. It’s as if Michael had nothing more to offer in terms of memorable music.

After seeing the number of hit songs he churned out since arriving on the scene in the early years of MTV back in the 80s it suddenly dawned on me the number of songs Michael did that I liked. They included another 1984 WHAM! single, "Careless Whisper", which he also co-wrote with songwriting partner, Ridgeley, both at the age of 17 which was a song he was not the most thrilled with saying in 1991, the hit “was not an integral part” of his emotional development, yet it was the lyrics that struck a chord with fans.

"I'm still a bit puzzled why it's made such an impression on people. Is it because so many people have cheated on their partners? Is that why they connect with it? I have no idea, but it's ironic that this song - which has come to define me in some way - should have been written right at the beginning of my career when I was still so young,” Michael was quoted in a 2009 interview with Bang Issue magazine.

Then there is Aretha Franklin’s 1987 Grammy Award winning song, "I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)." I didn’t learn, however, until after Michael’s passing that the two did the number as a duet. Those two hits along with so many others like Michael’s slow moving 1988 ballad, "Kissing a Fool," sadly, just as it’s happened so many times before when a Hollywood legend or music icon dies, where I didn’t appreciate the person’s talent until they were gone.

If George Michael was fighting off the demons of drug addiction in his final days, those battles are over now. He is likely somewhere jamming on stage with fellow late musicians Bowie, Cohen, Frey and Prince collaborating on some new song and whatever that is, rest assured it’s not his 1988 hit, "Monkey", which reportedly detailed the singer’s battles with drug addiction.

As for that war of words I was expecting to get into with that friend of mine on Facebook regarding the subject, she posted back saying what I wrote was well said adding it breaks her heart when so much talent is lost due to an addiction.

©1/11/17

Were the untimely deaths of a popular North Texas attorney and a screen legend after losing their daughters the result of "broken heart syndrome", or a possible past medical history of stroke/heart disease?

When North Texas personal injury attorney Brian Loncar, who promoted himself as the “Strong Arm” with his series of TV commercials, was found dead Nov. 28, 2016, inside his Rolls-Royce Wraith, which was parked outside his downtown law firm, Loncar & Associates, the reported cause of death was a heart attack. The Dallas Morning News, however, at the time, say official results were still pending and would take up to two months.

Loncar, 56, died two days after burying his daughter, Grace, 16, a junior at Booker T. Washington High School who killed herself Nov. 25 and had battled depression since she was 11 years old.

When Loncar died, not once did I hear the local media say his heart attack was due to the stress of dealing with the sudden loss of his daughter in what I now know as “broken heart syndrome.”

Such was not the case Dec. 28 when screen legend, actress Debbie Reynolds, 84, died a day after her daughter, actress Carrie Fisher, 60, died following a massive heart attack she suffered on a flight from London to Los Angeles Dec. 23.

"She (Debbie Reynolds) missed her daughter (Carrie) and wanted to very much be with her," son, Todd Fisher and brother of Carrie, told Entertainment Tonight. "She had been very strong the last several days. [There was] enormous stress on her, obviously. And this morning she said those words to me and 15 minutes later she had a stroke and virtually left."

The morning after the world learned of Reynolds’ death the media brought up the subject of how she died from broken-heart syndrome.

The Mayo Clinic website describes broken heart syndrome as a temporary heart condition that’s often brought on by stressful situations such as the death of a loved one. Other situations that can often trigger broken heart syndrome include a threatening medical condition, domestic abuse, losing or winning a lot of money, strong arguments, a surprise party, performing publicly, job loss, divorce, asthma attacks, car accidents and major surgeries.

I won’t deny the stories I have heard of elderly couples dying in their 80s or 90s within hours apart, but were they truly a case where when the wife died, the husband couldn’t take the loss and as a result died of a “broken heart?” Is that what gets put on the person’s certificate as the cause of death following an autopsy if the family wishes one?

The problem I have with what reportedly killed Reynolds is I had never heard of this medical condition before, regardless of the fact it exists in the medical books and on medical websites.

What Loncar and Reynolds went through in the days/hours before they died were the same. Both suffered the loss of losing a child but under different circumstances. They are, however, not the only ones who’ve gone through the same tragedy. Many have lived through their losses.

Consider the thousands, perhaps millions of parents who have gone through the pain of burying their sons and daughters who went to fight in the Iraq/Afghanistan wars since 9/11 and never came home alive. Did any of those mothers and fathers die from broken heart syndrome days later? I bet more police officers and military soldiers die by suicide on a weekly basis because of what they’ve gone through on the job and in battles overseas than hearing of a mother or father dying from a “broken heart” as a result of a losing their kid.

I am also not denying how terrible it is for a parent to outlive their child. I can’t imagine the pain of going through that.

Reynolds suffered two strokes in 2015 and recovered according to an ABC News article.

Dr. Holly Andersen director of education for the heart institute at New York Presbyterian Hospital and scientific adviser for the Women's Heart Alliance, said Reynolds succumbed to “a cardiovascular event” given the actress’ history of stroke and heart disease among women. I will not be surprised if Loncar’s official cause of death when released is also “a cardiovascular event.”

"It wouldn't be surprising that an 84-year-old woman like Debbie Reynolds had some (arterial) plaque, and with this kind of stress, became more vulnerable and had more of a garden-variety heart attack and sudden death," Andersen said.

I don’t know what Loncar’s medical history was. I do, however, believe Reynolds’ death was likely the result of her previous medical history involving the strokes she suffered than I am accepting that her death was the result of “broken heart syndrome” due to the immense stress of losing her daughter.

I believe when it came to heart disease, both were likely walking time bombs, and it was only a matter of time before they suffered a fatal heart attack or stroke even if Loncar’s daughter had not died by suicide or if Carrie Fisher had survived her massive heart attack.

Thousands, if not millions, of people go through the loss of losing a child. The one and only reason we now know of “broken heart syndrome” was because Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher were “Hollywood Royalty” and famed Texas lawyer Brian Loncar was only known to Dallas residents as the “Strong Arm.”

©1/4/17