2011's Biggest Winners...in my opinion that is

If I am going to write a column profiling ten of the biggest losers of 2011 then I guess, to be fair, I need to cough up a column profiling who I thought were the year’s ten biggest winners, in a few cases “heroes.” The following is who made my personal list thus proving that perhaps the year was not a total loss.

1) The United States of America: If you have no idea why on the night of May 1 going into the early morning hours of May 2, 2011 crowds formed outside the White House in Washington and at Ground Zero in celebration then you either have no idea what happened more than 10 years ago on Sept. 11, 2001 and who was responsible, you are not a true American, you either don’t have Internet access or a television or are too poor to own one or you simply don’t care. On May 1, Osama bin Laden, the stone in America’s shoe for almost ten years, if not longer than that, was finally removed when “Public Enemy Number 1” was killed in a shootout by U.S. forces at the Al-Qaeda leader’s mansion in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Bin Laden’s end, however, does not in any way mean the war on terror is over. We must never, ever forget the close to 3,000 who were lost that September morning and the military servicemen and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice abroad since and who continue to put their lives on the line for our country every day in the name of freedom. Nor should we allow this victory as a reason to let our guard down. We must continue to remain vigilant.



2) Seal Team 6: Osama bin Laden’s demise would not have been possible were it not for the elite special forces group sent in who are unofficially known as “Seal Team 6.” So why did the team, whose members are unidentified, make the choice to kill the Al-Qaeda leader asked writer Nick Carbone in a May 23, 2011 10 Questions interview in Time with former Navy Seal Howard Wasdin who wrote the book, SEAL Team Six: Memoirs of an Elite Navy SEAL Sniper. “The guys in the room made that decision,” Wasdin said. “If you want to be in a position to make those types of decisions, go join the team. Otherwise, just say thank you.”



3) The 53 Percent: According to Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law of Motion, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” There are a lot of reasons why “The 53%” came into being as a result of The Occupy Movement protesters. I don’t know if those proud members will agree that the reason they were created has anything to do with physics. At least this group, however, HAS a purpose. The line on the top left-hand side of their website at the53.tumblr.com says it all. “Those of us who pay for those of you who whine about all of that…or that…or whatever.”

The site features pictures of various individuals proudly displaying their personal manifestos, many of them hand written, some typed, but all display practically the same similar story of the rough times they are either going through right now or were at one point in their life. “I am the middle class. I don’t hate those who have more money than me. I want to learn from their success! I pay my taxes. I am the 53%,” wrote one. “Stop playing the victim and do something,” wrote another. To quote one woman on the site, “Life is tough. Get a helmet. I am the 53%.” The fact these people and countless others, myself included are out working and not complaining about the bad hand life has dealt them makes us members of the 53% true winners.

4) "Battle: Los Angeles": My goal was ‘I want to make a war movie with aliens’. Not an alien movie that happens to have soldiers…there’s an ‘incidental-ness’ to the aliens,” said director Jonathan Liebesman of his alien invasion film, Battle Los Angeles in an interview on www.darkhorizons.com. “At the same time, what that allows me to do is not get into political reasons for ‘Why are we fighting this war? Is this a good war, or is this a bad war?’ I just want to watch…you know, guys who put their lives on the line, how they bond, what they do for us. That kind of stuff. That’s what I was interested in.”

Liebesman’s sci-fi film about United States Marines responding to an alien invasion in Los Angeles may not have received rave reviews but it certainly wasn’t bad enough to earn any Razzies either. On a $70 million budget according to imdb.com, "Battle: Los Angeles" took in $83 million at the box office, which hardly clarifies it as a big budget flop. In a time where “Hollyweird” has been more preoccupied with inundating audiences with negative Iraq war/war on terror themed movies the past 10 years, Battle Los Angeles, for all its silliness, jerky camera movements and lack of character depth, was a refreshingly welcome change that offered two things: American patriotism and respect for our nation’s military. That is something sorely lacking in a lot of today’s liberal America bashing movies. John Wayne would have been proud.

5) Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords: “I will get stronger. I will return.” Such were the words Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords wrote in the last chapter of her book, Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope authored by her and husband, astronaut Mark Kelly, on her plans to one day return to Congress. There is no arguing that Giffords has come a long way in her rehabilitation this year after surviving a near fatal gun shot to the brain during a meet-and-greet Jan. 8 by a deranged assassin. Although she still has a long road ahead of her, it is the little accomplishments Giffords has made that make her continuing recovery remarkable taking brief walks now, for example, to the mailbox with husband, Mark, and speaking in one word sentences, thanks to music during speech therapy, that clearly explain her thoughts. “Pretty good,” Giffords told ABC news anchor Diane Sawyer in a Nov. 14 interview on 20/20 when asked how she feels.

“She (Gabrielle) doesn’t give up,” Kelly said in an 11/14/11 article on abcnews.com. “If that’s what she wants (returning to Congress again), that’s what I want for her. You know, I think she has the right to a chance to recover. She was elected by a lot of people who voted for her in Arizona. When she knows she’s ready, she’ll make the decision.”

6) Tim Tebow: The Denver Broncos quarterback is not so much known for his plays on the field as he is known for his “Tebowing” where he gets down on one knee to pray before a football game. Now everyone seems to be doing the Tebow or criticizing it. OK. Not everyone. You won’t ever see me "Tebowing” in public before getting in my car, before going to work or before writing such columns as this.



7) FX’s "American Horror Story": The Black Dahlia, Rubber Man, a serial killer in a pig mask, ghost sex, kinky sex, family dysfunction, Columbine style school shootings, illegally paid abortions, devil babies, cannibalism, infidelity, miscarriages, high school bullying, suicides, baby kidnappings, The Vatican. Such are the ingredients found in FX’s psychologically twisted, often disturbing supernatural TV series about a married couple (Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton) who, along with their daughter (Taissa Farmiga) move into a Los Angeles home only to discover the place is anything but sweet. The show’s often times unsettling subject matter and clever plot twists inspired by countless horror movies and real life tragedies are the reason why the R rated cable drama has become an unexpected hit with viewers. FX has already renewed the series for a second season. Viewers seem to enjoy visiting this new house on a weekly basis provided they don’t tire of having their leashes being jerked around asking themselves “Huh?” every time each episode goes off in another direction.

8) ABC’s "Once Upon a Time" and "Revenge": What did the creators behind the modern-day fairy tale "Once Upon a Time" and "Revenge" about a young woman (Emily VanCamp) plotting her wrath against the rich and powerful who ruined her family when she was a young girl get right that ABC ordered up an entire first season of both shows?

In the case of "Once Upon a Time", it might be the cleverness of putting fairy tale characters in today’s world where Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) is a schoolteacher, her daughter Emma (Jennifer Morrison) is a bounty hunter, Jiminy Cricket is a therapist and the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla) is the mayor of Storybrooke, Maine.

As for "Revenge", which is a modern-day take of "The Count of Monte Cristo", where the woman this time is the hero, excuse me, “heroine” plotting against anyone she knows living in the Hamptons, perhaps it’s because right now no one has any love for the wealthy, if you ask The Occupy Movement that is.

“We are dealing at a particular time right now in American history where I think the average American is going to want to see the takedown of the rich,” said Revenge co-star Madeline Stowe in a 12/2/11 article on cnn.com.

Then again, it could also be with "Desperate Housewives" ending this May, viewers need another female driven show to turn to that boasts the famous quote, “I am woman, hear me roar!”

9) Boo: The World’s Cutest Dog: I am sure there a lot of cute dogs out there. What makes this five-year old Pomeranian with a smile and a funny looking haircut so special that he has his own Facebook page of close to 2,600,000 followers and counting and a book called "Boo: The Life of the World’s Cutest Dog"? I just know if I had a dog like Boo, he’d be the ultimate babe magnet for picking up women. Of course the women would only be interested in the dog and leave me out of the picture.

10) The Texas Rangers: No they did not win the World Series again this year but to me, that doesn’t matter. They managed to get there twice in two years and that alone still makes them winners in my book. As Hall of Fame pitcher and Rangers president Nolan Ryan told www.tsn.com,“You have to move on, you can’t dwell on it. It comes under the category of history, and that’s where we are. We just have to start preparing for next year and hope that we get that opportunity again and that we can capitalize on it.” Should the Rangers make it to the World Series again next year and actually win it that will drive the point home of that American idiom, “Third time’s the charm.”

©12/16/11

2011's Biggest Losers...in my opinion that is

There were a lot of losers who made the headlines in 2011, too many to fully write about here as a matter of fact. As the year comes to a close, I look back at who I felt were ten of the year’s biggest losers who in one way or another put me in a bad mood.

1) The Occupy Movement: A lot of things can be said about The Occupy Movement and none of them good. Their protests, which had no clear message as to what they wanted to accomplish made my blood pressure and blood sugars fly off the charts. This was a movement started by a bunch of pissed off whining freeloaders who among a lot of things blamed others who are more successful and making more money than they are, blamed others for the fact they cannot find a job, and demanded that someone else pay for their college loans. Like their problems are all our fault when in fact, a lot of us ARE working and ARE struggling to meet bills like myself living from paycheck to paycheck but you don’t see me out there blaming capitalism, the government and Wall Street for my personal financial problems and educational shortcomings.

“Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself! It is not a person’s fault if they succeeded, it is a person’s fault if they failed,” said former Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain back in October before suspending his bid for the White House Dec. 3 as a result of the sexual harassment allegations and claims he had a 13-year-affair with an Atlanta woman.

"All the Occupy movement starts with the premise that we owe them everything," said Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich at a speech at Harvard according to an 11/21/11 online article on businessinsider.com. "They take over a public park they didn't pay for, to go nearby to use bathrooms they didn't pay for, to beg for food from places they don't want to pay for, to obstruct those who are going to work to pay the taxes to sustain the bathrooms and to sustain the park, so they can self-righteously explain they are the paragons of virtue to which we owe everything."

I find the one quote, however, that best summarizes The Occupy Movement is one I heard Sean Hannity say on his conservative radio talk show a few weeks ago quoting from President John F. Kennedy’s Jan. 20, 1961 inaugural address. “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” The Occupy Movement might want to think about that.



2) Black Friday Shoppers: I am not referring to the millions who stood in lines outside Thanksgiving night waiting for stores to open at midnight Friday morning in hopes of being first in line for discounted deals. I am referring to those Black Friday Shoppers who ignored 61-year-old pharmacist Walter Vance as he suffered a heart attack and collapsed while shopping at a Target in West Virginia. Vance later died at the hospital. No one bothered to help the guy other than the six nurses shopping in the store who aided Vance performing CPR until paramedics arrived, according to his wife, Lynne, in the Sunday Gazette Mail.

This wasn’t the only incident where shoppers only gave a damn about themselves. Other incidents across the country included people being pepper sprayed while trying to get their hands on Xboxes, shoppers being robbed and shot as they walked out of stores with their purchases and people rioting to get their hands on a discounted waffle maker. You know who you are and it’s because of your callous selfishness that is the reason why you people bring out the Scrooge and the Grinch in me, or in my case, “The Joe That Stole Christmas” that begins the day after Thanksgiving until Jan. 2 when the entire holiday season to my immense pleasure is officially over. To quote Walter Vance’s co-worker, Sue Compton, who upon hearing what happened told WSAZ-TV almost exactly what I have been asking myself the past several years every time this holiday comes along. “Where is the good Samaritan side of people?” The words from that song, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” might just be nothing more than a fairy tale.



3) Former Head Football Coach Joe Paterno, former Penn State University President Graham Spanier, Penn State wide receiver’s coach and recruiting coordinator Mike McQueary, Penn State’s senior vice president for finance and business, Gary Schultz, Penn State athletic director Tim Curley and anyone else who knew anything about former assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky’s “extracurricular activities” involving eight kids and did little or nothing to stop it much less immediately report it to authorities.

There is a line from "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" (1982) that best describes the despicable behavior exhibited by these key players in the Penn State scandal that immediately ended Joe Paterno’s long running coaching career. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

To Paterno, Spanier, McQueary, Curley and Schultz “the many” was worrying about either their jobs and the reputation of their prestigious college and athletic football program because to them it was all about money and that’s what makes the college go round. Ok, McQueary did report what he saw going on in the showers between Sandusky and a young kid back in 2002. Instead of getting the kid out of there and calling the cops, however, McQueary called his daddy and then reported the incident to Paterno, who in turn reported it to his supervisors. Is it just me but when someone witnesses someone else possibly being raped, in particular a young kid, do you not immediately call the cops, if not get that kid away from the guy?

These individuals should have paid intense heed to “the few”, the eight kids, if not more who tried telling adults about Jerry Sandusky’s strange behavior and shrugged it off.

“This is a tragedy,” Paterno said. “It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”

So do we “JoePa”, so do we.

4) Rebekah Brooks, former chief executive of News International: “Editing the Sun and News of the World…Gotta get a scoop, gotta fill the front page...Got a kiss n’tell, make people’s lives hell…Saying everything is in the public interest…A little phone hacking isn’t wrong…It’s just a rogue reporter…Send him off to jail while I see my friends.”

Such are the lyrics chronicling chief executive Rebekah Brooks’ downfall who resigned from News International in July as a result of the phone hacking done by staff reporters at The News of the World while she was editor back in 2002. At the heart of the scandal was the 2002 incident in which reporters retrieved voicemails of murdered 13-year-old Milly Dowler while she was still listed as missing.

The YouTube song called Rebekah Brooks “Friday” currently has over 142,000 views and is a parody of American recording artist Rebecca Black’s song of the same name.

Like the song goes, “It’s Friday, Friday, gotta resign on Friday. Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend. Friday, Friday, getting fired on Friday. Everyone’s looking forward to the weekend. Phone hacking, phone hacking, yeah! Phone hacking, phone hacking, yeah! Sun, Sun, Sun, Sun, looking forward to the weekend.”



5) Movie Remakes: "Arthur", "Conan the Barbarian", "Footloose", "Fright Night", "The Thing". All right, "Conan the Barbarian" was not a “remake” of the 1982 version with Arnold Schwarzenegger, but a reboot and The Thing was a prequel to the John Carpenter/Kurt Russell sci-fi/horror collaboration. Nevertheless, of the five films I mentioned, four flopped at the box office. Only "Footloose" managed to make a profit grossing $50 million on a $24 million budget. How I wish given the lousy track record these needless remakes and reboots at the box office where only one film was a hit with audiences that this would send “Hollyweird” studios a message to stop messing around with the classics and give me something with a small, miniscule shred of originality to justify wasting my money.

Considering the number of films already being planned for unnecessary remakes that include "The Bodyguard" (1992) "Dirty Dancing" (1987), "Point Break" (1991), "Scarface" (1983), "Starship Troopers" (1997) and "The Wild Bunch" (1969), I just don’t see it happening. As P.T. Barnum once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute” and so long as there are young audiences stupid enough to waste their hard-earned money or what little money, they have to see a redo, there will always be remakes.



6) Oscar Hosts - James Franco and Anne Hathaway: “No chemistry.” Those words are usually written to refer to how bad a film was as a result of two stars’ failure to connect with each other and with audiences. On Feb. 27, 2011, however, those words applied to hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway of the 2011 Oscars. Although I admit Hathaway did her damnedest to liven things up, the two of them together only clarified what I said about the Oscars in a 2/23/11 column I wrote earlier this year on my blog at www.darthstumpo.com. “If there is one thing I will find of interest with this year’s Oscar telecast, it will be to see how James Franco and Anne Hathaway fare as hosts. Rest assured if the two fail miserably and ratings are down as they have been in recent years, one thing viewers will be asking themselves the next morning is what were the producers thinking when they decided to ask them to host?”



7) Kim Kardashian: Poor Kim. No one seems to care for her or the Kardashian clan. Or is it just her? Even President Obama doesn’t want his kids, Sasha and Malia, watching them.

“Barack really thinks some of the Kardashians – when they watch that stuff –he doesn’t like that much,” First Lady Michelle Obama told iVillage.

As a result of Kim’s much publicized wedding and 72-day-marriage and divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries, 41-year-old Colorado native Cyndy Snider started an online petition called “No More Kardashians” asking that the E! network take Keeping Up With the Kardashians off the air. As of right now, the total number of online signatures at www.gopetition.com stands at over 170,000.

“We feel that these shows are mostly staged and place an emphasis on vanity, greed, promiscuity, vulgarity and over-the-top conspicuous consumption," Snider said in an AOLTV.com article. "While some may have begun watching the spectacle as mindless entertainment or as a sort of 'reality satire,' it is a sad truth that many young people are looking up to this family and are modeling their appearance and behavior after them."

I, for one, have no idea what she or her family contributes in terms of celebrity status and am damn proud I haven’t sat through just a few seconds of any episode. I don’t even know when the show is on, which up until now as I write this column had no idea what the show was called.

The best moment of entertainment coverage I saw about Kim Kardashian’s over publicized (and to think I actually got sick of hearing about the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton in April) wedding was a YouTube clip called “Kid hijacks Kardashian news report” showing a young bystander making faces in the background on camera without CNN reporter Kareen Wynter knowing it until probably later. That one-minute clip proved just how much of a joke the Kardashian wedding really was and prompted one viewer to leave a comment on YouTube saying, “Wow this was the most intelligent segment I’ve seen on CNN in years.”



8) Lindsay Lohan: See Lindsay get sent back to jail for 30 days for violating her probation Nov. 2. See Lindsay check in at the Los Angeles County jail Nov. 6 only to be released four hours later due to jail overcrowding. See Lindsay arrive 20 minutes late for court ordered community service at the county morgue. This month, see Lindsay pose nude Marilyn Monroe style in Playboy magazine for which she was reportedly paid $1 million.

The things people will do for money when they can’t find good work. Or should I say the things founder Hugh Hefner will do to help boost sales of his troubled publication, which has been in decline financially since the advent of free Internet porn. I have no interest in picking up the January/February issue to find out if the $1 million Lohan got was worth it. I lost interest in Playboy magazine years ago. The bottom line is I now consider Hefner’s once classy adult publication trash and I predict that’s exactly what the Lindsay Lohan issue will be.



9) Devoted Viewers of "All My Children" and "One Life to Live": So much in hoping that the continuing adventures of...all right…I have no idea who any of the characters are on "All My Children" (1970-2011) and "One Life to Live" (1968-2011) as I never watched them. The only character I know by name is “Erica Kane” thanks to star Susan Lucci who received 21 Daytime Emmy Award nominations in all and finally winning in 1999 on her 19th time. Devoted fans hopes’ that the soap operas following their cancellations by ABC (the finale episode of "One Life to Live" will air in Jan. 2012) would continue online came to an end with the announcement by Internet distributor Prospect Park that the shows are officially dead.

"We believed the timing was right to launch an Online TV Network anchored by these two iconic soap operas," the company said in a statement in an 11/23/11 article at www.huffingtonpost.com, "but we always knew it would be an uphill battle to create something historical, and unfortunately we couldn't ultimately secure the backing and clear all the hurdles in time. We believe we exhausted all reasonable options apparent to us, but despite enormous personal, as well as financial cost to ourselves, we failed to find a solution."

So much for finding out who got shot in that final episode of "All My Children" that aired in September. Hey, I didn’t watch the show! I found out about what happened in the last episode reading articles on the Internet.



10) NBC: I can come up with plenty of reasons why NBC rounded out the top ten biggest losers of 2011 (stop trying to prove to me that Thursday’s comedy shows like "The Office" (2005) and "Parks and Recreation" (2009) are as good as "Cheers" (1982-1993), "Night Court" (1994-1992), "The Cosby Show" (1984-1992), "Seinfeld" (1990-1998) and "Friends" (1994-2004). There’s a reason when those shows were on why Thursday night was called “Must See TV.” Stop trying to argue that Jay Leno is as good as Johnny Carson.

What infuriated me most was NBC’s decision to pass on the Wonder Woman series. I had no problems with the Amazonian super heroine’s get-up as worn by actress Adrianne Palicki which underwent many costume changes that included blue spandex pants and boots and got devoted fans so worked up that I found their belly aching on the Internet to be the equivalent of a woman getting their boyfriend all sexually aroused and then denying them their much needed orgasm.

Nor did I have any problem with writer David E. Kelley taking on the project who if the series had been picked up, would have marked his first venture in doing a show based on a comic book versus such notable long running dramas he’s given TV audiences over the years like "Ally McBeal" (1997-2002), "Boston Legal" (2004-2008), "Chicago Hope" (1994-2000) and "The Practice" (1997-2004).

“I hate to disappoint anybody. I know there are legions of fans of the original show,” NBC Entertainment Chairman Robert Greenblatt told Entertainment Weekly back in May. “I don’t know if it’s cursed or what. I just have this one experience. They made a really fine pilot and Adrianne Palicki did a fantastic job. You look at what you have, what you need, and it just didn’t seem to fit in with what we were doing."

“We did what was best for the schedule,” Greenblatt said. “It does give one pause. You’re almost damned if you and damned if you don’t. It’s tricky.”

Well, thanks to his network’s decision, we’ll never know if the Amazonian princess with her gold Lasso of Truth would have really taken off in that invisible plane of hers or if it would have immediately gone down in flames nose first.

I know one thing is certain. I predict the show would have lasted longer than "The Playboy Club", which was gone after just three episodes.



©12/6/11