Wednesday, April 21, 2004

My Personal Worst Films: The Punisher (2004)

The Punisher «½
R, 124m. 2004


Cast & Credits: Thomas Jane (Frank Castle), John Travolta (Howard Saint), Will Patton (Quentin Glass), Laura Harring (Livia Saint), Ben Foster (Spacker Dave), Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (Joan), Samantha Mathis (Maria Castle), John Pinette (Bumpo), Roy Scheider (Frank Castle, Sr.). Screenplay by Jonathan Hensleigh and Michael France. Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh.



"The Punisher" is such a depressingly, tedious, joyless masochistic mess of a film that, like "Daredevil" (2003) and "Hulk" (2003) before it, two big budget comic book adaptations which were so dark they completely lacked a smile or laugh, I regretted even giving it a chance.

Call me old-fashioned but when I see a film based on a comic book, I expect it to be fun like the Superman and in some cases even the Batman movies. I don’t expect to see heroes in the form of a muscle bound green digitally enhanced special effect in purple spandex like the Hulk who looked like he needed to join "Rage-A-Holics." Nor do I expect heroes like Ben Affleck’s Daredevil, who like the lead character in The Punisher, to be such a depressed brood that it makes me wonder if they really get any joy out of fighting crime.

My heart sank fifteen minutes into "The Punisher" the moment Frank Castle’s entire family is murdered by gangsters at a reunion held by his father (Roy Scheider) who talks about how such a joyous occasion has been a long time coming. The order shockingly comes from the beautiful wife (Laura Harring) of a wealthy money launderer (John Travolta) following the funeral for their older son who was killed in an FBI sting operation Castle (Thomas Jane) oversaw.

“His family,” she says. “His whole family.”

By “entire family,” I am talking about grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents, young nephews and cousins right down to Castle’s wife and son who are run over by the villains.

By the time the film was over, I felt like Malcolm McDowell’s character from Stanley Kubrick’s "A Clockwork Orange" (1971) who was forced to sit and watch violent movies with his eyes pried open.

"The Punisher" is inundated with unsettling scenes of henchmen all of whom are seen donning black suits as though they’ve got nothing else of different colors hanging in their closet. All of them meet death in some grisly way or another like having arrows sliced through their necks or paper cutters used as machetes embedded into their foreheads. At one point, Castle takes a long sharp-edged bowie knife and runs it through a guy’s face starting from the bottom of his chin. You can see part of the knife inside his gaping mouth. There are others as when Travolta’s Howard Saint, thinking his wife is having an affair with his best friend (Will Patton), conveniently throws her off a bridge in front of an oncoming train.

His best line might also be the sickest when his younger son asks where his mother is. “She caught a train,” Saint says.

All this leads to the predictable climax and no, I don’t think I am giving anything away here. Castle, a former FBI agent who early on calls himself “The Punisher,” chains Saint to the rear bumper of a car sending him through a parking lot full of exploding automobiles. The explosions cleverly make up the fiery logo of a deformed but immense looking skull with three long teeth that The Punisher wears on his shirt.

I just know writing a negative review of a movie based on a popular comic book is going to bring the loyal fans out of the woodwork eager to set me straight at how I am missing the point behind this vigilante character.

They’ll probably tell me that The Punisher is supposed to be about a depressed alcoholic hell bent on revenge. The fact he doesn’t want to draw any attention to himself is normal for him as he makes his residence in a rundown apartment in Miami the fans will tell me. Castle’s next-door neighbors are a hefty cook (John Pinette) who never goes out, a video game freak (Ben Foster) with one too many earrings on his face and a waitress (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) trying to make ends meet.

My question to the fans would be how to they expect me to root for a guy who is so morose that when his tenants invite him over for a Thanksgiving feast that when it comes time for him to say what he is thankful for, his only response is, “Thanks for dinner?”

Believe it or not, there are some good movies out there about people taking revenge. A couple of them are on my personal 100 best films of all time. The Godfather films, for example, are all about taking revenge out on traitors. As James Caan’s Sonny Corleone said to Marlon Brando’s bed-ridden father in the first movie, “They hit us, we hit them back.” Revenge films can also give us memorable villains like Ricardo Montalban’s character "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" (1982). I found his mannerisms hilarious watching him roll his eyes in defeat quoting vengeful lines from Shakespearean tragedies.

"The Punisher" actually has the makings of what could have been a good violent popcorn movie with a hero, or anti-hero we care about and cheer when the villain finally meets his demise. In a scene that reminded me of the climax from Sergio Leone’s spaghetti western, "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" (1966), The Punisher and two hitmen size each other up inside a bank lobby before one of them finally draws. Do I have to tell you who draws first?

In another great scene that cleverly avoids all those typical clichés where I assume it’s just another hitman who happens to have a gun in his guitar case, a well-dressed Hispanic walks into a diner where The Punisher is having breakfast and unexpectedly bangs out a tune on his guitar.

“I’m going to play that at your funeral,” he tells Castle.

Scenes like these make me wonder what The Punisher might have been like if say Quentin Tarantino had been offered the project.

The characters in "The Punisher" are one-dimensional with barely any depth and the script is chock full of so many one-liners that I found it hard to believe this was more than 60 pages. The filmmakers might as well have done a remake of "Death Wish" (1974) that featured Charles Bronson as an architect who, like The Punisher, takes the law into his own hands after his wife and son are brutally murdered.

"The Punisher" is not just a Death Wish clone disguised as a comic book movie that comes with the Marvel Comics’ logo seal of approval, the film might also spawn off a slew of unnecessary sequels over the next ten years the way Bronson’s movie did; a Death Wish for a new century.

I find it rather ironic to note despite everything that’s dreadfully wrong with "The Punisher", there is one good point the filmmakers prove. I am reminded of the scene near the end of "The Godfather Part II" (1974) where Al Pacino’s Michael Corleone is sitting all alone brooding, looking back on happier times. He’s restored his family’s Mafia name, finally consolidated all his power and wiped out all his enemies. He is, however, all alone.

If "The Punisher" proves anything, it is that taking revenge out on those who’ve wronged you won’t bring your loved ones back. In the case of this film, all the lead character, not to mention the audience, is left with is emptiness.

©4/21/04

Could the end of NBC’s “Frazier”, “Friends” mean the end of the sitcom?



Next month, NBC’s “Friends” and “Frazier” will come to an end. Just as was the case with the highly publicized finale of “Seinfeld” years ago, it looks like I will be the only one who won’t be shedding any tears.

Like “Seinfeld”, “Frazier” and “Friends” were never on my personal list of “Must See TV.”

The reason I tuned into “Frazier” for half its first season when it premiered in fall 1993 was due to my interest in seeing what direction the show’s creators were going to take Kelsey Grammer’s self-absorbed psychiatrist Frasier Crane who audiences got to know for several years on “Cheers” (1982-1993).

The best episode was the pilot in which Dr. Crane’s hopes of living as a divorced bachelor and father in Seattle are dashed when he must take in his retired father and dog and hire an English maid who says she has a knack for seeing the future.

I still laugh every time I recall how Dr. Crane responded in a deep negative voice when someone asked him what the name of his dad’s four-legged mutt was who would do nothing but sit and stare at him.

“That is Eddie.”

I haven’t watched the show on a regular basis since. The same can’t be said unfortunately, for “Friends.” Like the repeats of “Seinfeld,” thanks to the WB network who’ve milked the series for all its worth with reruns five days a week, I have seen, or maybe I should say heard, every episode five times over. I can’t say it was by choice mind you. Since I don’t own a satellite or rent cable, there is nothing else on at those times for me to watch other than “M.A.S.H.” and the news. The only other reason I had the show on was so I could have something on in the background while I was doing something else.



I always saw “Friends” as disposable entertainment. It is far from what NBC calls “a classic.” Of the 200 plus episodes made, I have only sat and watched over a dozen and most of them were from the first season. The boyfriend/girlfriend relationships were annoyingly endless. I can probably count on one hand alone how many cliffhangers over the past ten years on “Friends” had something to do with Ross (David Schwimmer) and Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) and in some cases with Joey (Matt LeBlanc). When there was no Ross/Rachel love triangle, we got the Monica (Courtney Cox-Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) relationship. Probably one or two of those cliffhangers involved Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow), who was either in the process of giving birth to three triplets or found out someone else in the gang was pregnant.

A true fan would probably know the exact title of each episode which starts out with the words, “The One…” if you look at various Friends’ websites. Thankfully, I cannot tell you the title of what I thought was the funniest episode NBC recently aired as part of its “Viewer’s Choice” poll.

Perhaps it was called “The One Where Ross Wants Everyone to Get Dressed So They Don’t Miss His Banquet” dinner? No that’s too long. Maybe it’s “The One Where Joey and Chandler Fight Over Who Is Going to Sit in The Chair?” That’s still too long.

How about, “The One Where Joey and Chandler Spill Liquid Fat on Phoebe’s Yellow Dress?” No? Could it be “The One Where Rachel Asks Ross to Eat the Fat?” Or is it called “The One Where Monica Gets a Message from Her Ex-Boyfriend Richard (Tom Selleck) And Doesn’t Know If the Message Is Old or New?”

How about “The One Where Joey Wears All of Chandler’s Clothes with No Underwear On?” Is it “The One where Pheobe Covers the Fat Stain With…” oh, never mind.

I could go on and on with this.
The end of “Friends” and “Frazier” is not so much the end of two hit Emmy award winning comedy series as it is possibly the end of hit sitcoms overall and maybe even the death of creative original network television programming.
“NBC has had years to develop something to plug in once they lost Friends, and they’ve never been able to do it,” said Stacey Lynn Koerner, director of global research at Initiative Media, according to the Oct. 6, 2003 issue of Newsweek. “I’d rather be CBS than NBC a year from now.”

Even despite their highly publicized Friends’ spinoff, Joey, next season, the peacock network still has no sure thing.

Nor do ABC, CBS, or Fox for that matter. Long running shows like “The Simpsons”, “NYPD Blue”, “ER”, “Everybody Loves Raymond”, “Will & Grace”, “The West Wing” and the original “Law & Order” have only a couple more seasons left before their contracts expire. Who’s going to step in and take over the coveted slots?

There is no doubt diehard fans will have a hard time bidding farewell when Dr. Crane takes that final phone call on his radio show to say, “I’m listening.” Or when Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe all go their separate ways following one last round of cappuccino at Central Perk.

All this right now is just a mourning period.

The real shock of losing two comedies won’t hit until this fall when viewers realize how much laughter will be vacant from the top ten or twenty most watched programs of the week.

The series known as the hit sitcom is dead. Make way for nights of families competing to see how many worms they can eat on Fear Factor, slews of Law & Order and CSI spin-offs, hour-long news documentaries and survivor type shows where hosts like Donald Trump bring failing interns into the boardroom every week to say, “You’re fired.”

©4/21/04