Every December as the year ends, critics list their best and worst in movies, television, music and books. Since I am still trying to play catch up on 2003’s movies, I decided to forego my own best and worst list and draw up a unique list for 2003. I call it “Nine things I got sick and tired of hearing the press talk about in 2003 that I am going to hear about, and in some cases, am already hearing about right now in 2004.”
Britney Spears: You know all the words. Sing it along with me. “Oops she did it again.” The former Mouseketeer locked tongues with Madonna at the MTV awards and graced the front covers of most every entertainment or fashion magazine in titillating poses in 2003. The year 2004 wasn’t even a week old when the press got wind of marriage to a childhood friend in Las Vegas only to denounce the proceedings a day later. It was one of the top stories on CNN’s website Jan. 3. Anyone with even an ounce of intelligence should realize it was just another publicity stunt on behalf of the 22-year-old singer who’s clearly running out of ways to shock people. All that’s left now is for Spears to reconsider Playboy magazine’s offer to pose nude. I know quite a few guys who’d snatch up copies of that issue.
Michael Jackson: Is the King of Pop really guilty of “lewd or lascivious acts” with a 12-year-old boy who is a cancer patient and claims Jackson gave him wine before molesting him at the star’s Neverland Ranch? Did the Los Angeles police manhandle him (or as Jay Leno joked on The Tonight Show maybe the singer should have suggested he be “boy handled?) as Jackson said to reporters in December? Perhaps Jackson really is innocent after all and is a victim of circumstance who just happens to like sleeping with little boys (though he has said in interviews that he sleeps on the floor on certain occasions). What’s worse? Jackson’s predicament or hearing the latest developments on the case?
The Scott Peterson Case: The guy deserves the death penalty for murdering his pregnant wife, Laci, and unborn child. All right, I’ll be politically correct and say “allegedly.” But I really can’t think of anyone who deserves the death penalty more. Actually, there are some who deserve it just as much as he does. It’s just that no one else comes to mind because this despicable murder case has been in the press for more than a year. Perhaps when the trial is finally over, all that unnecessary and overblown news coverage will pay off if the jury hands down the verdict Scott Peterson really deserves.
Martha Stewart: I admit it would be humorous if the queen of K-mart did go to prison for insider trading. Perhaps she could make some improvements to the prison food. Then there’s the way the women’s prison block would look after she gives the place a woman’s touch. Perhaps Stewart could arrange a morning talk show from prison. All kidding aside, I seriously doubt the domestic diva is going to do any time. I predict it’s going to be a hung jury half made up of men who don’t like seeing women in charge of large corporations. On the other hand, women will be more sympathetic to Stewart’s plight. They want to see a female in charge, especially in a time when this nation could have a woman president in the White House before 2020. All Stewart did was dump $228,000 worth of ImClone stock at the last minute. It’s not as if she put millions of employees out of work the way greedy executives at Enron did. Now those are some people who truly deserve prison time.
Kobe Bryant: Did she, or didn’t she? Did he, or didn’t he? Those were the question asked when the rape case involving the famous basketball star broke the airwaves last year. They’re the same questions still being asked today. When it’s all over, it’s going to be a case of “he said, she said” and more than likely it will be the 19-year-old Colorado hotel employee and accuser who is in the wrong.
Ben and J. Lo: It’s clear that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are NOT Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. And after the two of them did “Gigli,” (Affleck says the title is pronounced and sounds like the word, “Really”), it’s clear this on-screen couple is no Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. Last year’s news was whether the duo known as “Bennifer” will ever tie the knot. The couple’s decision to finally call it quits last week will be the topic of 2004.
Saddam Hussein: The guy’s a coward. I would have liked it better if the man who compared himself to Nebuchadnezzar II, a Babylonian king who once ruled Iraq, had gone out in a blaze of glory battling American troops the way his sons died last summer. If nothing else, his death would have spared the world of having to hear about “The Trial of the Century: when the former Iraqi leader is tried for decades of crimes his own people later this year.
Rush Limbaugh’s Addiction to Prescription Pain Killers: The only ones who took great pleasure in hearing about the controversial talk show host checking into rehab after admitting he was addicted to and being investigated for supposedly purchasing illegally prescribed pain killers were the bleeding-heart liberals and the largely liberal press. Newsweek’s cover story last fall on the “Maha Rushie’s” recent downfall was NOT news. It was a dirty, if not pathetic attempt to kick a man when he’s down. Liberal’s revenge is what I call it and it just goes to show how the media can’t find anything better to cover.
Terror Alerts, Osama bin Laden and Al-Qaeda: It’s all a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t when it comes to Homeland Security raising the terror alerts to red, especially during the holiday seasons. The reason why is obvious: to prevent another 9/11 style attack from happening again. The fact is Americans now know better. We’re going to continue doing exactly what we’ve been doing since the events of 9/11: going about our daily lives but be vigilant and aware of our surroundings. It’s a good bet if anyone takes over or tries to blow up a plane, as demonstrated by shoe bomber Richard Reid, the passengers are going to do something to stop the terrorists. A recent videotape from Al-Qaeda’s Chief Executive Officer Osama bin Laden didn’t stop Americans from flying over the holidays last month. It was law enforcement organizations from around the world who, in fact, stopped terrorist agents from boarding planes headed to the United States by canceling certain flights abroad. What it all comes down to is when the chips are down, the only thing Al-Qaeda has on their side is scaring the hell out of people idle threats of retaliation.
©1/28/04
Britney Spears: You know all the words. Sing it along with me. “Oops she did it again.” The former Mouseketeer locked tongues with Madonna at the MTV awards and graced the front covers of most every entertainment or fashion magazine in titillating poses in 2003. The year 2004 wasn’t even a week old when the press got wind of marriage to a childhood friend in Las Vegas only to denounce the proceedings a day later. It was one of the top stories on CNN’s website Jan. 3. Anyone with even an ounce of intelligence should realize it was just another publicity stunt on behalf of the 22-year-old singer who’s clearly running out of ways to shock people. All that’s left now is for Spears to reconsider Playboy magazine’s offer to pose nude. I know quite a few guys who’d snatch up copies of that issue.
Michael Jackson: Is the King of Pop really guilty of “lewd or lascivious acts” with a 12-year-old boy who is a cancer patient and claims Jackson gave him wine before molesting him at the star’s Neverland Ranch? Did the Los Angeles police manhandle him (or as Jay Leno joked on The Tonight Show maybe the singer should have suggested he be “boy handled?) as Jackson said to reporters in December? Perhaps Jackson really is innocent after all and is a victim of circumstance who just happens to like sleeping with little boys (though he has said in interviews that he sleeps on the floor on certain occasions). What’s worse? Jackson’s predicament or hearing the latest developments on the case?
The Scott Peterson Case: The guy deserves the death penalty for murdering his pregnant wife, Laci, and unborn child. All right, I’ll be politically correct and say “allegedly.” But I really can’t think of anyone who deserves the death penalty more. Actually, there are some who deserve it just as much as he does. It’s just that no one else comes to mind because this despicable murder case has been in the press for more than a year. Perhaps when the trial is finally over, all that unnecessary and overblown news coverage will pay off if the jury hands down the verdict Scott Peterson really deserves.
Martha Stewart: I admit it would be humorous if the queen of K-mart did go to prison for insider trading. Perhaps she could make some improvements to the prison food. Then there’s the way the women’s prison block would look after she gives the place a woman’s touch. Perhaps Stewart could arrange a morning talk show from prison. All kidding aside, I seriously doubt the domestic diva is going to do any time. I predict it’s going to be a hung jury half made up of men who don’t like seeing women in charge of large corporations. On the other hand, women will be more sympathetic to Stewart’s plight. They want to see a female in charge, especially in a time when this nation could have a woman president in the White House before 2020. All Stewart did was dump $228,000 worth of ImClone stock at the last minute. It’s not as if she put millions of employees out of work the way greedy executives at Enron did. Now those are some people who truly deserve prison time.
Kobe Bryant: Did she, or didn’t she? Did he, or didn’t he? Those were the question asked when the rape case involving the famous basketball star broke the airwaves last year. They’re the same questions still being asked today. When it’s all over, it’s going to be a case of “he said, she said” and more than likely it will be the 19-year-old Colorado hotel employee and accuser who is in the wrong.
Ben and J. Lo: It’s clear that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are NOT Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. And after the two of them did “Gigli,” (Affleck says the title is pronounced and sounds like the word, “Really”), it’s clear this on-screen couple is no Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. Last year’s news was whether the duo known as “Bennifer” will ever tie the knot. The couple’s decision to finally call it quits last week will be the topic of 2004.
Saddam Hussein: The guy’s a coward. I would have liked it better if the man who compared himself to Nebuchadnezzar II, a Babylonian king who once ruled Iraq, had gone out in a blaze of glory battling American troops the way his sons died last summer. If nothing else, his death would have spared the world of having to hear about “The Trial of the Century: when the former Iraqi leader is tried for decades of crimes his own people later this year.
Rush Limbaugh’s Addiction to Prescription Pain Killers: The only ones who took great pleasure in hearing about the controversial talk show host checking into rehab after admitting he was addicted to and being investigated for supposedly purchasing illegally prescribed pain killers were the bleeding-heart liberals and the largely liberal press. Newsweek’s cover story last fall on the “Maha Rushie’s” recent downfall was NOT news. It was a dirty, if not pathetic attempt to kick a man when he’s down. Liberal’s revenge is what I call it and it just goes to show how the media can’t find anything better to cover.
Terror Alerts, Osama bin Laden and Al-Qaeda: It’s all a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t when it comes to Homeland Security raising the terror alerts to red, especially during the holiday seasons. The reason why is obvious: to prevent another 9/11 style attack from happening again. The fact is Americans now know better. We’re going to continue doing exactly what we’ve been doing since the events of 9/11: going about our daily lives but be vigilant and aware of our surroundings. It’s a good bet if anyone takes over or tries to blow up a plane, as demonstrated by shoe bomber Richard Reid, the passengers are going to do something to stop the terrorists. A recent videotape from Al-Qaeda’s Chief Executive Officer Osama bin Laden didn’t stop Americans from flying over the holidays last month. It was law enforcement organizations from around the world who, in fact, stopped terrorist agents from boarding planes headed to the United States by canceling certain flights abroad. What it all comes down to is when the chips are down, the only thing Al-Qaeda has on their side is scaring the hell out of people idle threats of retaliation.
©1/28/04
